irc quotes

[p0Pe]

ok... here is some irc quotes that i find funny:D feel free to share yours xD

-
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?
-


-
<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick ****ers)
<anamexis> :<
-

-
<xterm> The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
-

-
<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao
-

-
<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language
-

-
<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn't be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (**** you i didn't touch the mother****ing cookie, bitch)
-

hope you had fun:P

[crenn]

Some of those are gold.

[Cookies N' Milk]

bash.org ftw ;P some of the quotes there are epic

[p0Pe]

oh **** yeah:P... forgot to say all quotes are from www.bash.org:D

[Omega]

<Amantis> peer`, if you were a skinny woman, I'd marry you

---

<Kuyukly> There is nothing to fear
<Kuyukly> Except peer` itself

---

<Kuyukly> you know what I like
<Kuyukly> ...guys

---



Having said that, keep it clean.

[noopypoop]

<ThelegendarySCM> me and my buds lit a car on fire once- kinda by accident
<ThelegendarySCM> but it was fun to watch the gas tank blow up.
<Artanis> lol
<Artanis> :-) where did this happen?
<ThelegendarySCM> we were out playing pranks on one of our friends when we saw our principles's car- he was a TOTAL ass, and we all hated him. Was a drop top, and the dude left the top open. We climbed n and started ****ing with the car, when somehow the cifggarette lighter wnt itm goit red hot, fell out and lit the floormats ablaze
<ThelegendarySCM> Never ran so fast from anything in my life. After we got about 2 miles away we turned just in time to see the gas tank go.
<Artanis> hahahhahaaha
<Artanis> and uhh, you never got caught?
<ThelegendarySCM> nope. No one saw us(for some wierd reason)
<Artanis> lol
<ThelegendarySCM> Man, that dude was HEATED the day after at school. He dragged us all into the auditorium and we spent 6 hours there. I mean the whole school, in a crowded auditorium, and he wouldnt lets us leave until someone confessed. No one did, and when school did end the superintendent was waiting for the principal. He was promptly fired for keepoing us in that room for 6 hours.
<ThelegendarySCM> Talk about insult after injury.


lol

[xRyokenx]

lemonlimeskull: Keith dodged a serious bullet thanks to his massive stupidity.
Opium: Hmm?
lemonlimeskull: Well, as you may know he lost his license months ago
lemonlimeskull: So he's been biking everywhere, which has lead to him losing a bunch of weight
lemonlimeskull: He bikes to Walmart today and as soon as he gets to the electronics department, realizes his wallet's fallen out, probably somewhere along the highway.
lemonlimeskull: So he takes the memory card he wanted, puts it up in his baggy sleeve, and goes to leave.
killjay: Uh oh
lemonlimeskull: Yeah.
lemonlimeskull: Naturally, security stops him as he gets within 5 feet of the front doors. This huge obese woman who is obviously having a really bad day - or just hates her job.
killjay: o ****
lemonlimeskull: She stops him, GRABS his arm, RIPS up his sleeve, and WRENCHES the card out of his hand.
lemonlimeskull: He knows he's screwed so he starts crying in the middle of the ****ing store. He cries all the way back to the security office, and everyone's staring at him the whole way.
Opium: So he's sitting in jail right now
lemonlimeskull: That's the awesome part. The manager takes a look at him, notices the bike helmet, poorly fitting clothes, lack of any ID whatsoever, and the fact that he's crying like a three year old.
killjay: .... -_-
lemonlimeskull: Yes. He was let go and the security woman got chewed out for hurting a "retarded kid".

Sheer ****ing genius.

EDIT:


random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

[Quakken]

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse

This one doesn't work as well as it could, bash uses a different font


<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.
<JediHobbes> woah
<JediHobbes> *blinks*




* @Lan plays with his privates.
<Rintaun> ...
<@Lan> I got these new toy soldiers
<@Lan> They are really neat




<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor :(
<rycool> ...
<NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door.
<NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.

[crenn]

Got to love things that sound bad.... but are actually innocent.

[Quakken]

Those two are probably my favorites. My friends laughed so hard at the "I broke my g string while fingering a minor one".

[Omega]

I've actually said that (I'm a bassist). It took me a few minutes to get what the stares were for.


<peer`> Never sneeze and hold a knife at the same time
<xaio> why
<peer`> I'll just say that my leg is bleeding

[armadilloben]

omega i overuse lol but you seriously made me crack up

[Omega]

I still have the tear in my jeans and the scar D=

[simon275]

Ah I love bash.org

My personal favorite

<Donut[AFK]> HEY EURAKARTE
<Donut[AFK]> INSULT
<Eurakarte> RETORT
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-RETORT
<Eurakarte> QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE
<Donut[AFK]> SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE F**K UP
<Eurakarte> NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM
<Donut[AFK]> RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> ADDON RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> COUNTER-RIPOSTE
<Donut[AFK]> COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE
<Eurakarte> NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON
<Miles_Prower> RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES
<Eurakarte> WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD
<Miles_Prower> ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS

[Omega]

<peer`> I cut off gummy bear heads and put them over the LED's on my keybaord
<peer`> now I have glowing gummy bear heads

it's the only quote of me on bash... link for proof:
http://bash.org/?785961

(And yes, peer` is me.)

[Drum Thumper]

#34315 +(824)- [X]

<murder`> lol i just got the rot password to the linux machine running the network im on
<m0zzie> you mean root pass?
<murder`> yea whatever its called do u know some cool commands like to hack ppl?
<m0zzie> try this one.. rm -rf /etc
<phoenix> rofl
<murder`> that one just paused for ages and came up with a few forbidden msgs
<murder`> got any better ones?
<m0zzie> hmm.. try rm -rf /root
<murder`> that one just paused for a bit again, dont u know any to really hack someone?
<agent3> lol
<m0zzie> ugh, ok I guess you're gonna keep harrassing us until we tell you how to hack people aren't you?
<murder`> yep
<m0zzie> ok do this exactly without the quotes: "rm -rf /home" then do "shutdown -h now"
<murder`> k sweet man thx!!
[n] Quit [murder`]-[Read error: Connection reset by peer]
<m0zzie> I'm a bastard.


Now THAT is funny.

[crenn]

Lol

[Quakken]

I don't know balls about linux, but obviously writing "shutdown now" in the console is going to shutdown your computer, there are some real idiots on IRC sometimes. That's a great quote though.

[Lord Ned]

<Dr_DOS> My fish get scared of pizza boxes.
<Dr_DOS> They think they're giant borg ships or smth
<repp0r> Don't put an anchovie pizza near your fish.


<McMoo> wouldn't it be great if someone made a program where we could connect to a server and chat with each other in channels we create?


<Tsk> oiuyniyu98h987h89yh87y98yjn987j987y897yhkiuk;''''
<Tsk> sorry.. there was a spider on my keyboard.



* XS slaps the crap out of someone with a larger than ordinary, non-standard, frames compatible, Microsoft trout.


<Ohtani> one day I will kill ever person on earth who says 'u' instead of 'u'
<Ohtani> err
<kaientai> Ohtani: Planning a suicide run?

I lol'ed.

[Omega]

I don't know balls about linux, but obviously writing "shutdown now" in the console is going to shutdown your computer, there are some real idiots on IRC sometimes. That's a great quote though.

rm -rf is the deltree of linux.

/* are folders.


It'd be better if they told him to do rm -rf * then shutdown.

[Quakken]

Deltree?

[Omega]

...you don't know what deltree is?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deltree

[Helix666]

I'd post a quote or two... but this is a family friendly site...
(Seriously... a most of the quotes I've got are X-rated. ;) The result of a channel full of furries... )

[SnowFox]

Now THAT is funny.

Hahaha !

It reminded me of me playing CS:S and someone said in chat : Press F10 ! So I pressed F10 and guess what. The game closed :dead:

[HackSore]

The mention of css has reminded me:
I was playing on an english speaking server, a few german guys were playing and voice chatting and some english guy starts telling them to speak english and throwing abuse at them, telling them they are retards for speaking their own language ect, and then he said to another english guy on the server "its annoying me, they keep speaking like not english"
I laughed so hard.

[crenn]

<+ebonypony> The main complaints I have about my MacBook aren't lack of features. I never used any of those features on my windows based PC. No, it's the fact the thing isn't anywhere near as stable and bulletproof as I thought it would be
<+ebonypony> It crashes all the time. Maybe even a little more than Windows.

[DaveW]

It reminded me of me playing CS:S and someone said in chat : Press F10 ! So I pressed F10 and guess what. The game closed

Lol...you had that one coming man. Let the lesson be learned: do not press buttons if someone on the internet tells you to!

Someone on another case modding website told someone to flick the red switch on the back of their PSU. I believe that PSU designates between the 110V in the US and the 230V in the UK (although I could be very mistaken, don't flame me). The guy's whole computer was toast.

-Dave

[crenn]

That switch did designate between 120V and 240V. How do I know? I've done it.

[Luke122]

Lucky for us here in the 110v world, that the switch will not cause destruction. (DONT TRY IT THOUGH! I'm not responsible if your dumb ass blows something up)

[Drum Thumper]

(tobyl) It's damn hard to schedule these things, and we're hitting major plot.
(tobyl) Not to mention my character just went up two levels.
(Fetch) wow
(Fetch) what'd you kill?
(Sancho) the DM


That made the geek in me cry from laughter.

[Drum Thumper]

The following is a public service announcement that shows how bad drugs are for you:



<p_digga> oh god i'm dumb when i'm stoned
<j3r3miah> why
<p_digga> i lost something on my desk, and i couldn't find it, so i moved my ssh window on my computer desktop to see if it was under it
<j3r3miah> oh god

[halcyonforever]

Hahaha !

It reminded me of me playing CS:S and someone said in chat : Press F10 ! So I pressed F10 and guess what. The game closed :dead:

When my brother and I are playing TF2 and want to open up a spot for the other person to join the server we will say "Wow check out the cool victory dance when you press F10"

Someone always drops...

[Lord Ned]

When my brother and I are playing TF2 and want to open up a spot for the other person to join the server we will say "Wow check out the cool victory dance when you press F10"

Someone always drops...

Except F10 doesn't do anything in TF2, it's unbound? :lick:

[halcyonforever]

it still disconnects from the server.

either that or people just sympathy quit for me...

[Drum Thumper]

My personal favorite comes from World of Warcraft




Some dumbass newb in General chat: 'How do I <insert stupid question here>?'

Me: Alt+F4 will do that for you.

Newb: Thanks!



And a few minutes later, I'm getting flamed by the newb lol.

[crenn]

Lucky for us here in the 110v world, that the switch will not cause destruction. (DONT TRY IT THOUGH! I'm not responsible if your dumb ass blows something up)
Let me tell you, for the 230V world, it causes a big bang if you switch it.

[FuzzyPlushroom]

I've always liked this one, from one of my regular IRC channels:

<AtropaBelladonna> some girl (shes like a bit older than me) calls up every year like cockwork "had another kid. more money"
<daffodil> HAHAHAHAHA
<Valtieri> Cockwork alright
<AtropaBelladonna> best typo ever!

The latter four here (http://qdb.us/?search=sanguini) are my responsibility as well (bash is down, QDB's better anyway) as is this one (http://qdb.us/96424) (it's slightly questionable so I'm linking it).

We ought to have a version of this for our chat rooms...

[Omega]

I lol'd fuzzyplushroom.

[DaveW]

I'm pretty sure that switch will screw you in either country. Best not touch it...

WARNING: SCIENCE BIT

Power, in Watts, is measured in Voltage*Current (In Amps).

In the UK, we have 230V sockets, but in the US it's 110V. Which means in the USA, setting it to 230V means that it's expecting that much voltage to be available to it, when instead it will find a higher current and a lower voltage.

In the UK, the reverse is true: it gets more volts and less current if it's set wrong.

Some components are sensitive to voltage: and some are sensitive to current. I don't remember exactly how it all works; but the reason you always need a resistor with an LED is to limit the current, not alter the voltage.

I figure at least 20% of what I said up there is wrong, but this is the internet. If someone doesn't correct me within 3 minutes, then we should be worried. :p

Suffice to say, no matter where you are, do not hit the switch.


This public service announcement brought to you by:
-Dave

[xmastree]

I figure at least 20% of what I said up there is wrong, but this is the internet. If someone doesn't correct me within 3 minutes, then we should be worried. :pDamn, too slow!

Power is volts * amps, correct. But, feeding 110V into something designed for 230 will not result in higher current. It just won't work.

Feeding 230V into something designed for 110V will result in fireworks.

[crenn]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mains_power_systems

USA has 120V, not 110V.

[Omega]

The figure 110V is a rough figure because the US operates at 100V-128V.

[crenn]

Standardised at 120 V. Electricity suppliers aim to keep most customers supplied between 114 and 126 V most of the time. 240 V/60 Hz used for heavy duty applications (e.g. air conditioners, clothes dryers, stoves, ovens, and water heaters). Buildings with more than two branch circuits will usually have both 120 and 240 V available. Type B outlets are now required by code in new construction and renovation. A T-slot Type B is rated for 20 Amperes for use in kitchens or other areas using large 120 V appliances.

I'd worry if the voltage went down to 100V. (remember the voltages are RMS, not peak voltages)

[Omega]

I'd worry if the voltage went down to 100V. (remember the voltages are RMS, not peak voltages)

It depends on your region, quality of your electric company, etc. Lots of factors.