Ichbin
04-06-2008, 10:23 PM
I wrote these one facebook, I want to know what you guys think. (they are direct copies)
First note.
Title : Talking
The key to understanding is effective communication.
In any communication at least some of the “meaning” lost in simple transmission of a message from the sender to the receiver. In many situations a lot of the true message is lost and the message that is heard is often far different than the one intended. This is most obvious in cross-cultural situations where language is an issue. But it is also common among people of the same cuture.
For instance, I give you the scenario.
John : I can’t go to school today because I feel sick. I’m not sure I will be able to take the test.
Mom : But your already failing!
Something that seems simple can in fact have more meaning to it. Is John really sick, or is he in fact trying to avoid the test that he did not study for. The mom only having one meaning of reply is of Johns grades.
He conveyed the message, but the message includes more then just words. It includes timing, tone, and expression.
The mom receiving this message has to in-fact decode it. Adding meaning to what sick John is really expressing. She has to find the meaning of what he is saying, wether it be avoiding a test or actual illness.
Communication is built somewhat like this.
Thought(Sender)->Encoding(Sender)->Transmission->Decode(Receiver)->Thought(receiver)
Each step of the encoding process of the messanger and the decoding process of the receiver has ample room for major error. What was trying to be expressed could be intrepreted the complete opposite ways.
More-so then ever, people that already have problems “Finding-words” for certain situations may have even more difficulty in expressing themselves the right way for the receiver to perceive the correct understanding of the true meaning of the message in the first place.
I myself have some difficulties expressing my messages and my meanings to people. I have worked on it constantly because I know it is frustrating, and I know it causes tension between the people that I talk to.
I find myself using the wrong vocabulary and the wrong strings to properly express what I mean. I can assure you that I mean no hostility nor lack of understanding. If I do not understand I will say “I do not understand.” However...I tend to use the incorrect “encoding” process and it gives off the impression of mis-understanding.
I don’t mean too....
I’m trying.
In this life I know I have problems I need to work on. This being one of them is hard. Quite hard. In fact...this blog is helping me a tich.
Effective communication is the ability to encode and decode the right way so that no mixed meanings get into the playing field. That everyone is on the same page.
I just have problems encoding from time to time.
Ok....
No more talky...my head hurts.
-----------------------------------------------------
Second note title : Understanding
To understand someone, communication has to be present. Otherwise it's based off of assumption.
Communication can be many different things. Whether it's body language, talking, writing, signing, smoke signals, telegraph, or physical tough. It's all important in the art (And yes I mean ART) of understanding someone.
In my previous blog (Of which now I am writing in Notes) I talked about how communication works between 2+ people. I didn't however stress the importance of understanding the other person.
It takes 2 to tango.
First of all, if the person does NOT want to be understood, then that is their prerogatived. Try not to force it from them. It usually doesn't end up well.
For complete understanding to be achieved between both parties, there needs to be confirming actions.
Confirming actions are followed by Actions of Confirmation.
Let me explain a little, it sounds a bit confusing.
Actions of confirmation are most commonly used in the form of questions. "So you went down to the park to get a slurpie?" someone might ask to confirm understanding of the situation. It is the Action of the step of Confirming ones understanding. AKA, actions of confirmation.
The Confirming action is the "Yes" or "No" replies. Now they don't necessarily have to be "Yes" or "no", they can be something else, but all they are, in their entirety, are things that help the person that wants to understand completely understand.
Without the Actions of Confirmation, the situation doesn't become understood. It becomes assumed.
My mom says that assuming makes an ASS outta U and ME (hahaha ... *sigh*)
Now I don't agree with that entirely. Assumptions speed up the process of communication for smaller understandings. A perfect example is someone going to the bathroom. You assume he's going to take a dump, or something a long those lines. Now, it may not be true, the probability of it that it is true, is well...in your favour.
To know when an Act of Confirmation is needed, you have to look at social probability. What are the chances of what your assuming to be true? Think about that with NO bias whatsoever when pondering if a Act of Confirmation is needed. It's a tough thing to do, but it will be rewarded with less problems in the future.
Please read this in hopes that the next time you talk to someone, when they start asking a lot of questions, they might only be trying to understand a seemingly complex situation to them.
I'll post more when I think more.
First note.
Title : Talking
The key to understanding is effective communication.
In any communication at least some of the “meaning” lost in simple transmission of a message from the sender to the receiver. In many situations a lot of the true message is lost and the message that is heard is often far different than the one intended. This is most obvious in cross-cultural situations where language is an issue. But it is also common among people of the same cuture.
For instance, I give you the scenario.
John : I can’t go to school today because I feel sick. I’m not sure I will be able to take the test.
Mom : But your already failing!
Something that seems simple can in fact have more meaning to it. Is John really sick, or is he in fact trying to avoid the test that he did not study for. The mom only having one meaning of reply is of Johns grades.
He conveyed the message, but the message includes more then just words. It includes timing, tone, and expression.
The mom receiving this message has to in-fact decode it. Adding meaning to what sick John is really expressing. She has to find the meaning of what he is saying, wether it be avoiding a test or actual illness.
Communication is built somewhat like this.
Thought(Sender)->Encoding(Sender)->Transmission->Decode(Receiver)->Thought(receiver)
Each step of the encoding process of the messanger and the decoding process of the receiver has ample room for major error. What was trying to be expressed could be intrepreted the complete opposite ways.
More-so then ever, people that already have problems “Finding-words” for certain situations may have even more difficulty in expressing themselves the right way for the receiver to perceive the correct understanding of the true meaning of the message in the first place.
I myself have some difficulties expressing my messages and my meanings to people. I have worked on it constantly because I know it is frustrating, and I know it causes tension between the people that I talk to.
I find myself using the wrong vocabulary and the wrong strings to properly express what I mean. I can assure you that I mean no hostility nor lack of understanding. If I do not understand I will say “I do not understand.” However...I tend to use the incorrect “encoding” process and it gives off the impression of mis-understanding.
I don’t mean too....
I’m trying.
In this life I know I have problems I need to work on. This being one of them is hard. Quite hard. In fact...this blog is helping me a tich.
Effective communication is the ability to encode and decode the right way so that no mixed meanings get into the playing field. That everyone is on the same page.
I just have problems encoding from time to time.
Ok....
No more talky...my head hurts.
-----------------------------------------------------
Second note title : Understanding
To understand someone, communication has to be present. Otherwise it's based off of assumption.
Communication can be many different things. Whether it's body language, talking, writing, signing, smoke signals, telegraph, or physical tough. It's all important in the art (And yes I mean ART) of understanding someone.
In my previous blog (Of which now I am writing in Notes) I talked about how communication works between 2+ people. I didn't however stress the importance of understanding the other person.
It takes 2 to tango.
First of all, if the person does NOT want to be understood, then that is their prerogatived. Try not to force it from them. It usually doesn't end up well.
For complete understanding to be achieved between both parties, there needs to be confirming actions.
Confirming actions are followed by Actions of Confirmation.
Let me explain a little, it sounds a bit confusing.
Actions of confirmation are most commonly used in the form of questions. "So you went down to the park to get a slurpie?" someone might ask to confirm understanding of the situation. It is the Action of the step of Confirming ones understanding. AKA, actions of confirmation.
The Confirming action is the "Yes" or "No" replies. Now they don't necessarily have to be "Yes" or "no", they can be something else, but all they are, in their entirety, are things that help the person that wants to understand completely understand.
Without the Actions of Confirmation, the situation doesn't become understood. It becomes assumed.
My mom says that assuming makes an ASS outta U and ME (hahaha ... *sigh*)
Now I don't agree with that entirely. Assumptions speed up the process of communication for smaller understandings. A perfect example is someone going to the bathroom. You assume he's going to take a dump, or something a long those lines. Now, it may not be true, the probability of it that it is true, is well...in your favour.
To know when an Act of Confirmation is needed, you have to look at social probability. What are the chances of what your assuming to be true? Think about that with NO bias whatsoever when pondering if a Act of Confirmation is needed. It's a tough thing to do, but it will be rewarded with less problems in the future.
Please read this in hopes that the next time you talk to someone, when they start asking a lot of questions, they might only be trying to understand a seemingly complex situation to them.
I'll post more when I think more.