Only in America....

[SXRguyinMA]

figured a laugh or two never hurt anyone :up: :D

Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
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Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
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Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
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Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
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Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
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Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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EVER WONDER ...

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens
our skin?
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Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
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Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
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Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
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Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
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Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
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You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
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If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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[rendermandan]

Thank you for that. I needed a little laugh.

[DaveW]

Ok, my input.


Only in America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Happens here too!


Only in America.....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Trust me, happens here too. In fact, I once heard the tale of someone with two grown children going to McDonalds and asking for one Cheeseburger with Pickle and one Without....they returned shortly after; the guy who wanted pickle didn't have any, and the guy who didn't want some found his burger full off it....


Only in America.....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Happens here


Only in America.....do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Happens here, but we pronounce garage differently, and substitute dollars for pounds


Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Not only in America ;)


Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Ok, you got me there, this only happens in the US



Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The lottery is rigged


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

So it can be abbreviated, thus proving their point


Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

You don't really want to know this one


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Because he was setting up for the recession we're all enjoying


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Because everyone is in a rush to get home, duh


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Because then the cats would stop hunting mice, and who wants mice?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

Needles are pre-sterilised, it's not like you can buy packs of dirty needles for lethal injections.


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

GAHHH...MUST...IGNORE...BLATANT MISUSE OF THE LAWS OF PHYSICS


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Apart; to be separate.
-ment; as a suffix, means "The place of an action". So it's the place where people are kept apart.

Gah, I'm bored. Back to work for me...

-Dave

[BuzzKillington]

[QUOTE=SXRguyinMA;232014]figured a laugh or two never hurt anyone :up: :D

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Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why Why waste the money on a special assembly line just for drive-up ATMs? I don't think where they end up is pre-determined.


EVER WONDER ...

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Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
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Lmao, seriously... you can't find anything "real" anymore... it's all chemicals.
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Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
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Good question.
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Have you heard the one "why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?"

[LiTHiUM0XiD3]

Needles are pre-sterilised, it's not like you can buy packs of dirty needles for lethal injections.

no.. they actually swab the area the needle goes in...

[Drum Thumper]

Have you heard the one "why do you drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?"

The same reason why cargo goes by ship and shipments go by car.

[jdbnsn]

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Because medicine is an art, not a science (more precisely, it is an art of applying science practically). If a doctor ever claimed that he/she no longer needed to work to improve their skills (i.e. practice), he would be claiming to "know it all" which is virtually impossible in medicine. Thus, we are perpetually in "practice".

[nevermind1534]

Just like you can "practice" law. It's funny how the same word has those two different meanings.

[BuzzKillington]

Just like you can "practice" law. It's funny how the same word has those two different meanings.

You show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A flat miner.

:oP

[crenn]

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
The reason is because believe it or not, the black box is heavy, the opposite of what you want an aeroplane to be. Also, black boxes aren't indestructible, they get beaten up to all hell after a crash.

[Omega]

man, this thread sure is taking things too literally in here

have a laugh, maybe add something, but don't overanalyze these things.

Enjoy the comedy and move on. =p

[KiLLERMAN21]

Too right Omega, jokes are never funny if you sit down and analyse them.

[crenn]

man, this thread sure is taking things too literally in here

have a laugh, maybe add something, but don't overanalyze these things.

Enjoy the comedy and move on. =p
I am laughing ;P

[SXRguyinMA]

me too :D

[DaveW]

Man, I'm laughing so hard it hurts.

-Dave

[Vertigo]

I used to date this hawaiian chick; complete health nut, she always cracked me up when we went to grab food, she'd order a salad and a diet coke ... and immediately after eating would be in a near panic attack for her Virginia Slims. People all over do things that just don't make sense.

[SXRguyinMA]

lol its like seeing people smoking while they're running on their treadmills lol