People You Love Shouldn't Do This.

[NightrainSrt4]

Subtitled: People Suck

Many of you know that I was engaged this past March under a frozen waterfall. Well, we've been discussing and planning the wedding. We had decided on a place. It's the place she first took me and we laid under the stars staring up at them and just talked for hours. It was the place that not only had I known I loved her, but the moment that I knew I wanted to spend my life with her. Not too long ago she had talked about it with her family.

WELL . . .

Her younger sister, who just popped out a kid just after graduating high school (unplanned :up:), decides on a damn whim that she is going to get married next Sunday . . . IN THE DAMN PLACE WE HAD PICKED OUT MONTHS AGO (After she heard about it mind you).

I'm so frustrated. Mostly because how bad it's hurting my fiance. They won't change the place either, even though they knew before that was where we had planned to have ours (You know, that planning thing . . .).

On top of that this is what the sister said:

This isn't even going to be the good wedding. It's just a formality for the paper work. We will have a nice one down the road at a better place.

:banghead::fight::bash:

What the heck do I do?

[Luke122]

Talk to the sister on your own, make sure you express how much this is hurting her sister (your fiance) emotionally, and stress your own disappointment at her choice and her words.

Make sure she understands the significance of the location to you both, and then let her make her own decision. You might not like the outcome, but that's really all you can do without risking upsetting the balance between family and fiance.

[NightrainSrt4]

The fiance tried talking to her and their mom (who had a big hand in setting it all up), and all they could say was "Oh, we didn't know", even though I was there when it was mentioned multiple times.

And there's all of, what, 4 business days to get it changed now. Nothing can really be done, I know. It just sucks so hard to see her have to go through this and know there's nothing I can really change without making people hate her/me.

I might trying to talk to the sister's fiance. He's a good guy, and might be my only hope, but he's under her every command so it probably won't change anything.

The sister has always gotten everything she ever wanted at the expense of everyone around her, and the mother lets it happen and often encourages it because she's too afraid to lose her if she shows any kind of strong parental influence.

[Luke122]

The sister has always gotten everything she ever wanted at the expense of everyone around her, and the mother lets it happen and often encourages it because she's too afraid to lose her if she shows any kind of strong parental influence.

THAT is the problem right there.

Good luck with her fiance! Hopefully he'll come through for you.

[NightrainSrt4]

I just got up the nerve to send a message to him. It's the only means of contact I have. I tried to be as polite and understanding as possible.

I feel like it is going to come back and bite me in the ass, and the sister is going to try and accuse me of going behind her back to try and ruin her day, even though I had no such intentions.

Here's what I sent:

Hey Lou,

This probably isn't going to change anything, and I honestly don't know if I should even be writing this, but I can't stand to see Jaqui hurting, even if she's trying to hide it so hard.

Is there any possible way to try and see if the wedding ceremony could be held anywhere else? If the Justice only recommended it as a nice place, and you guys originally wanted a beach, is there any way to maybe convince the Justice to go on what you guys originally wanted? Especially as this is as much a "formality" as is a wedding as I guess Nikki put it.

It's just that Jaqui had picked out that place months ago, and on a few occasions mentioned it to Cheryl that it was her first choice. Jaqui has a lot of emotional ties to that spot, and for that matter, so do I.

If not, it's okay. I understand, and in time, Jaqui will too. There's no hard feelings, and I give you both my best wishes and love. I just had to do something, anything . . . Hopefully you guys won't hate me, as I know if the situation were reversed, you would have at least asked me the same, no matter how late it might be to make any difference. Jaqui doesn't know I'm writing this, and with the given chances of it changing anything with the Justice already setting things up, she probably never should.

Thanks for hearing me out. In the end, I'll make it the best day of Jaqui's life no matter where it is; A location is but a small sliver of the entire experience, and I will find a place she will fall in love with more than she ever thought possible.

I just realized I haven't said one thing: Congratulations! And you owe me a COD rematch =).

I tried to play on the Justice making the choice as my only real hope of the sister not doing it to be an ass. First she tried saying that she didn't know about the place, then she changed it to they only went for it because the Justice thought it might be a quaint romantic place to have a wedding. I'm playing on the hope that statement is what really happened, even if I don't believe it myself.

[Trace]

Thats a good letter, and a good attempt. I hope that they change the location, and you get it

[DaveW]

If it's "just a formality" then why does she even care? Sounds like a horrible person, who would knowingly screw over their own sister over something they don't really care about...

Hope you get this sorted soon mate.

-Dave

[Bopher]

"This isn't even going to be the good wedding. It's just a formality for the paper work. We will have a nice one down the road at a better place."

If that's the case, then a Justice of the Peace can do it at the court house. Me and the wife got married at the JoP in Seabrook, NH. In her living room where she had a little area setup to do weddings. Not to sound mean but it sounds to me like she might of been a little jealous of the attention her sister was getting and she didn't get enough having the baby.

[Zephik]

Wow. That is really messed up. Human beings are unbelievably pathetic sometimes, I just don't understand it at all.

Hope everything turns out okay. It sounds like that message is your only chance, I can't really think of anything else that wouldn't end up in some kind of vendetta or something. The only other thing I can think of is trying to bribe her to pick a different spot or something.

Anyways, in my opinion, all that matters is that at the end of the day you two are going to be married, you are going to be together for the rest of your lives and you're going to make that happen in the spot that you both chose, a spot that has real meaning to both of you. It doesn't mean anything to her sister, you both know that. So don't let her get in the way of both of your happiness. At the end of the day, all that matters is you two. See this situation for what it is and know that you're both better than that and above that and because of that, it doesn't really matter, because its below both of you. This is nothing more than some silly childish game that her sister is playing for whatever reason. A silly childish game like this should not be able to tarnish what you two feel for each other or what this spot means to both of you.

Just my two cents.

[NightrainSrt4]

Thanks guys. I haven't gotten anything back yet, and honestly at this point I hope I don't and I hope they just have it at that spot. I'll find somewhere better. I've got plenty of time to plan things out. At least I'll have said something and won't feel like I've got something hanging over my head with Jaqs. Not that she would ever make me feel that way, I just didn't want to see her sad without knowing that I tried something. I'd rather not have the place now because it will just be the place (to her and most of her family) that Nikki gave up to us because she pitied us.

Everyone was talking about how the sister changed after being pregnant and having the baby; I just don't see it. But the good thing is, I can spend most of my life ignoring her, lol.

[NightrainSrt4]

WELL . . .

I hadn't gotten a reply back yet, but, the fiance just got a call from her mom saying that the sister had decided to go and talk to the Justice and see if they could get the spot changed to the beach.

Our spot is free once again!

I got excited when I heard the phone conversation, and like a dumbass, showed her this thread and the letter. She seemed really mad at me. :mad: . After a bit of talking what I got from the conversation was that she wasn't upset at all, just so confused as to why someone would go out of their way, attempt to talk her sister out of something, just to make her happy. In disbelief of how I can be such a great guy, and how she could ever measure up. :smoker:

I'll have to wait to Sunday to actually make sure no one changes their minds again, but man am I happy. Even if we still decide to do it somewhere else, at least then it is our choice, not someone we know stealing the spot. =)

Thanks

[Luke122]

Right on.. I'm glad things worked out!

[NightrainSrt4]

Thanks a lot. Who knows if I would have mentioned it at all had I not written/talked things out a little bit.

I thought she was going to kill me at first, lol. Jeez. But her words and emotions spoke differently. =)

[Trace]

Awesome dude!
Here's to a good wedding, wherever you choose to have it.

[billygoat333]

I had a similar situation happen with my sister, except it wasnt marriage, it was over a name. My (ex) wife and I had always planned on naming a son after me, and were quite possibly going to name our then bun-in-the-oven baby that (william :D). anyways, so my sister has her baby 5 months before us, and she DECIDES that she is going to name her baby William as well (she named her son after her grandpa and her husband's grandpa) and she didnt even THINK to ask me if I wanted to name a kid that. I of course could only say, yes, we were planning on naming a son that, but thats ok, we can think of another name. I understand why she named her son that, but the fact that she didnt think to ask me if she could use MY name just grated on us, especially my wife who had planned on using that name since we were in high school. oh well, alls well that ends well, glad things worked out for you! ;)