If you like swords, steam and a bit of alien technology...

[Kayin]

Here's the libretto of Fatal Optimization, my magnum opus (hah) combined novel/game that's currently in production. The text is meant to act as a supplement to the game, as well as exploring alternate paths that don't render so well in 16-bit.

http://fataloptimization.wordpress.com/

Comments are welcome, constructive, destructive or off-topic. Just please read...

[Twigsoffury]

Here's the libretto of Fatal Optimization, my magnum opus (hah) combined novel/game that's currently in production. The text is meant to act as a supplement to the game, as well as exploring alternate paths that don't render so well in 16-bit.

http://fataloptimization.wordpress.com/

Comments are welcome, constructive, destructive or off-topic. Just please read...


But what if i bought my computer with the sole intention of not reading books?

[Mach]

I read it through in one sitting. Good stuff, I'm impressed! Loved the intro with the drake. It makes sense as a game companion but it is fairly dense with technology and back story. I'd love to see each episode fleshed out into full multi-page chapters. There's enough story there to write volumes on. Hell, if Robert Jordan can stretch one story into 13 (or whatever he's up to now) books, you can make a great book out of the story that you are brewing.

Only quibble would be with Irian's petulance in chapter 25. The character takes out a drake as a child and a giant pleco as a student, he's not going to get pissy with his crew. He'd use a word like "streppoch" when he's battering a harvest creature. In other words, the world doesn't move him, he moves the world.

[Kayin]

I think you'll find later, as I get to work with him more, that there's more to the petulance-call this foreshadowing of a far greater problem. The Queen has ulterior motives, as well.

[Kayin]

If you're following along at home, today's addition may as well be entitled "the fecal matter hits the rotational ventilatory device-at a high rate of speed."

From here, it's kinda all downhill for a great while.

[Mach]

Chapter 36 left me more than confused as to what happened. I'm guessing the girls were gunned down by whatever was kicking up dust behind the vermin. Irian dropped out his battle rage and the Queen dosed him with a stimulant. I don't get what Namid means here -
She knew Irian shouldn’t have tried to fight, and this was only going to make things worse.

I'm inferring that she's just amped up his battle rage to take on whatever is coming but why is he bleeding. It feels like you need a flashback or backstory to tie in the character foreshadowing.

I always thought this was an awesome piece of backstory dialog from Firefly


Simon: I am very smart. I went to the best Medacad in Osiris, top three percent of my class, finished my internship in eight months. "Gifted" is the term. So when I tell you that my little sister makes me look like an idiot child, I want you to understand my full meaning. River was more than gifted. She... she was a gift. Everything she did, music, math, theoretical physics - even-even dance - there was nothing that didn't come as naturally to her as breathing does to us. She could be a real... brat about it, too. I mean, she used to
[notices the looks on everyone's face; tries to get back to explaining]
Simon: There was a... a school... a, uh, a government-sponsored academy, we had never even heard of it but it had the most exciting program, the most challenging. We could have sent her anywhere, we had the money, but, she wanted to go. She wanted to learn. She was fourteen.
[thoughtful pause]
Simon: I, uh... I got a few letters at first, and then I didn't hear for months. Finally I got a letter that made no sense. She-she talked about things that never happened, jokes that-that we never... It was code. It just said... ”They're hurting us. Get me out."
Zoë: How'd you do it?
Simon: Money. And-and luck. For two years, I couldn't get near her. Then I was contacted by some men, some underground movement. They-they said that she was in danger, that-that the government was... playing with her brain. If I funded them they could sneak her out in cryo, get her to Persephone, and from there, I could take her... wherever.
Zoë: Will she be alright?
Simon: I don't know if she'll be alright. I don't know what they did to her. Or why. I-I just need to keep her safe.

[Kayin]

I'll pick up where I left off with what was actually in that syringe tonight.

I'll tell you this, it's not actually stimulants, and it spells real trouble.

Remember I said hidden agenda? We're gonna bring that to light, as well as the identity of the creature in the dust cloud.

[Mach]

Alright, can't wait!

[Kayin]

Items are being tied together. After this fight, the story of the game will splinter, with very good and very bad endings available. This story is just one of a few available, and it's up to the reader to decide if it's a god or bad ending.

[Kayin]

Now, you should be able to decipher part of the puzzle. More will be forthcoming.

[Mach]

Got it, good stuff. Really liked the Hemocyanin update.

[Kayin]

Took a lot of study. This takes more time to research than some of my mods.

[Kayin]

Absolutely EPIC sized update today, went from 39 to 47.

Coming up next is a bit of a break for the main story, will do some history, a bit of pseudoscience and The Ecology of the Kittychicken.

I'll let you decide if I'm serious or not.

[Twigsoffury]

Absolutely EPIC sized update today, went from 39 to 47.

Coming up next is a bit of a break for the main story, will do some history, a bit of pseudoscience and The Ecology of the Kittychicken.

I'll let you decide if I'm serious or not.

You have to be putting some miles on that keyboard.

wish they came with key stroke odometers.

[Kayin]

http://fataloptimization.wordpress.com/2010/01/30/the-ecology-of-the-kittychicken-felix-aves/

As promised, no matter how odd this looks this is going somewhere.

[Mach]

Lurking and enjoying the story although I'm scratching my head on the last one. :)

[Kayin]

You will, for a while.

Hopefully, I can update a bit more regularly. Like I did today.

[Kayin]

I've received a few comments on this one, so I'm going to elucidate (just for TBCS members exclusively!)

The Ecology of Felis Aves is a part of the story I have wanted to introduce for some time. The subject, the inimitable "kittychicken," is actually a major part of figuring out what's REALLY going on in this world. In addition, it sets up a major portion of the storyline to come, and injects a bit of much-needed levity into the storyline.

These flapping felines will be encountered throughout the latter portion of the game, and I figure it would make sense to find out why in a world of monsters and crazy people there are these super-affectionate squawking, flying cats. There's always more than meets the eye to any encounter in this world, though, and I think we're gonna see Old Hob again. Too interesting of a character to NOT bring back.

It's also a tip of the hat to a very important person in getting this all hammered out and tacked to the interwebs.

At any rate, I can tell you this much-no matter what, the kittychickens have a happy ending. They're much too contented for anything else.

[Kayin]

http://fataloptimization.wordpress.com/2010/02/26/chapter-fifty-in-this-sea-of-light-and-song/

First chapter in which it was uncomfortable to write, and the first I'm unsure of. Please, feedback.

[Drum Thumper]

Kayin, you've been stumbledupon. Excellent work, have been reading this off and on throughout the last couple of weeks.

[Kayin]

http://fataloptimization.wordpress.com/2010/06/02/chapter-sixty/

Getting real now, folks.

[Kayin]

Just a reminder for those who read that the story hasn't stopped. We're continuing on, and the kittychicken finally spoke. Have fun, ladies and gents.