Ever regretted doing something? I just have...

[crenn]

For a few months now I've been planning to go up and spend time with my girlfriend in Sydney, and I had plans on getting the funding to do so. Those plans fell through so my trip was in danger until a friend of mine offered to lend me some money to help me out knowing full well that I couldn't pay him back for a while. I was planning of doing my usual thing of telling my family I was going to a friends place and then go elsewhere, that was the plan... until one day I go out with a friend to the movies (it was a spur of the moment thing) and didn't let anyone know. My family told me that they didn't mind me going out with friends providing they knew where I was. Now here comes the kicker, I decide that I'll tell them I'm going up to visit friends in Sydney and be honest with them. I told my father first a few weeks ago and he was very disapproving but I thought I'd managed to convince him that'd I'd be ok. He was extremely disapproving of the fact that I got a loan from a friend even though I had no real way of paying him back, which is fair enough, except I did actually have a plan. Weeks earlier me and my father had talked about an allowance when I'm back at uni to pay for my train tickets, food, etc. The money he said he'd give me was around twice than I'd need so I was going to slowly pay my friend back. But regardless, tonight I finally told my mother. The thing about my mother is that she's disapproving of nearly everyone on the internet regardless of who they really are. Well, I only told her that I had worked for friends (which is true, built a Core i7 system for the same friend who offered to lend me money) and earned it with my father (also true). I didn't tell her about the loan but I did said I was going up to visit friends (left out the part about me visiting my girlfriend) and I'd be staying in a hotel. She was 'disappointed' and angry with me, but I was expecting that..... later after talking to my father, my father reveals the loan (my father doesn't understand the conditions of the loan well) and the fact I have a girlfriend in sydney to my mother. So my mother logically assumes I've met her on the internet and is even more angry with me.

So tonight, I'm regretting ever trusting my parents when I should be able to. I'm regretting ever listening to their little speech and believing it. So currently I'm really hurt and pretty much in tears (not hard considering my mental state). I know some of you may think I was being stupid and I should never had done this in the first place, but all I wanted was some time alone, away from family, to spend with my girlfriend. We planned things so that I could be there for her birthday.

Anyway, I should sleep for now.

[billygoat333]

yeesh... I know how controlling parents can be. but seems to me like if you are in Uni already and are a responsible adult, they should have faith in you to do the right thing. and that you will be safe!

[Twigsoffury]

yeesh... I know how controlling parents can be. but seems to me like if you are in Uni already and are a responsible adult, they should have faith in you to do the right thing. and that you will be safe!

how old is crenn?


I'd of just told my ma to kiss my a@#, but were some yankees.. talking crap back and forth is a normal conversation for us.

[Trace]

Twig, I'm with ya! I'd just be telling my parents what's up haha.
But seriously, if you're at uni, I think you can manage yourself responsibly. I feel for you, as I know how much it pisses me off and hurts me when my parents dont't trust me and ruin my plans.
Good luck

[crenn]

Well Round 2 has begun now that it's quickly spreading through the rest of my family (Also knew this was going to happen after I told my mother). She's still pissed. Will be heading off soon enough, and really glad that I'm not home half of the day.

[Luke122]

I feel so old..

[d_stilgar]

Well, my advice is to just keep being honest with them. The more you convince them that you can make choices (esp. ones like this that they don't like) that end up being really good for you, the more they will trust you. If you go behind their back you will lose trust every time. Be honest. Be completely honest in everything you do and you will come out way ahead in everything in life. If you read this book (http://www.amazon.com/Millionaire-Mind-Thomas-J-Stanley/dp/0740703579) you will find that the #1 attribute people with over ten million dollars share is that they are completely honest all the time. There are a lot of books like this, including The Speed of Trust and others. I promise in a year things will be better if you do this.

Also, your parents need to cut the leash a bit. If you are an adult there are some things they need to just let you decide on your own. However, as long as you aren't self supporting you will need to listen to them and respect them. That doesn't mean you can't negotiate!

[NightrainSrt4]

My aunt sounds much like your parents. The best thing I ever did for our relationship was move out right after high school. Once she got over me being an adult and seeing that I could hold up on my own, things got better and she started respecting me as an adult and not the little kid that lived with her for all those years.

Obviously don't be like, "Yo Biotches, I'm an Adult!!!1!", as that isn't what I am meaning. But over time you need to do some things that really show you can handle yourself and are becoming an adult, and hopefully, they will grow to respect that, even if it is a bit rocky along the way.

[Spawn-Inc]

i regret getting caught speeding as i know get to enjoy a $7600 insurance policy...

[Drum Thumper]

Don't sweat it. Ten years from now, all three of you will look back on the situation and laugh at the absurdity of it.

[crenn]

I hope so. I just hope my family can calm down and my trip isn't marred by the fact I'm in huge trouble.

[msmrx57]

I feel so old..

You too?
Any way my advice is truth as well. My daughter is 19 and in college and now realizes how important trust and honesty are. Her last couple of years in high school, well lets just say we had some problems :devfrown:because of lieing to both me and her mother. Now that she is going to college she "gets" to make her own decisions, such as what part time job she wants to cover expenses not related to school. She knows that there will be help in an emergency but for the most part anything extra that she wants is up to her. It is amazing how quickly major events are now minor issues. So be honest and make responsible decisions and sooner rather than later your folks will see that you are capable of taking care of your self.:banana:

[FuzzyPlushroom]

crenn: I was in much the same situation last spring - met my partner, Paul, online years ago, became increasingly close, developed a relationship and a couple mutual friends (folks he knew near him in Scotland) via IRC.

I explained the entire situation to my uncle once Paul and I decided we were officially 'together', and we came up with a solution: my uncle has some good friends in the north of England, and we'd travel there and back together, and he'd stick around for a day or two before heading down to see them, as was his avuncular duty. (He's in his mid-30s, but is the closest thing I have to a sibling.) That's how things worked out in the end, and how we sold the plan to my mother when I told her I planned to take a vacation, after I graduated, to meet some good friends.

Well, Mum borrowed my laptop a month or two after that (it's the only machine that has the laser printer installed, so the laptop gets plugged into it whenever we need to print something from one of the desktops) and ran across an email I'd sent to Paul. Feline, meet freedom from burlap sack.

I'm fortunate that she was accepting of my situation (albeit a bit concerned), and that I turned eighteen around that time (and she knew there wasn't much she could do that would stop me, since my intentions were sincere).

Anyway, we hit it off beautifully and nobody involved has any regrets. Hopefully, soon, your current predicament will resolve itself as well. Good luck.

[x88x]

Be completely honest in everything you do and you will come out way ahead in everything in life.

If you are an adult there are some things they need to just let you decide on your own. However, as long as you aren't self supporting you will need to listen to them and respect them.

/\ This.

I commiserate with you dude, and it really sucks that they reacted like they did, but as long as you're living on their dime, I can understand their desire to know what you're doing and how you're using said 'dime'. That being said, my advice would be (if at all possible) to get a part-time job so you can support yourself at university. In my experience, the minute that they aren't supporting you financially, a large amount of stress is removed from the relationship. I know personally, I think the best thing to happen to my relationship with my parents was when I moved out. I love my parents, and they were never really overbearing, but there's just that added level of tension when they're financially supporting you. Plus, it really is a great feeling being completely self-sufficient :D And, if all else fails, I hate to say it but, hey, if you're self-sufficient and they don't like what you're doing...too bad. It's your life.

[crenn]

Thanks for the advise guys, it's been a boost for me today.

Family is still pissed at me, but I think they've calmed down to a degree. I have to work a lot on the weekend, but it's going to be worth it when I walk off that plane and into a long awaited hug.

[mDust]

Thanks for the advise guys, it's been a boost for me today.

Family is still pissed at me, but I think they've calmed down to a degree. I have to work a lot on the weekend, but it's going to be worth it when I walk off that plane and into a long awaited hug.I'd just relax if I were you. It's not likely to make your family hate you. So what if parents get a little pissed now and then...that's part of being a parent and should be expected in the years before kids leave the nest. As long as you show your parents that you can make informed and responsible decisions they will get used to the fact that you're growing up...whether they like it or not.

Have fun on your trip. (but not too much fun :D)

[Ichbin]

I was in a similar situation when I wanted to visit my girlfriend that lived quite a distance away. She bought my plane ticket and 2 days before I needed to be at the airport, I told them. Of course they were upset and I hated the fact that they were upset....but my dad told me the best piece of advice...

"yes we're upset at ya, your kind of a jackass, but you made a decision, your old enough, grow a pair and live with the decisions you make."

[LiTHiUM0XiD3]

lolz i agree with the posts above... but i will also say... this is exactly why i started living on my own when i was 15....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI0dCVwdedE
parents just dont understand - will smith

parents r tricky... but its mostly outa concern

[TheGreatSatan]

You are going to see a girl you met on the internet?? Are you stupid?

I agree with your parents. Probably because I am a parent and I would come to the same conclusion as they did.

[x88x]

You are going to see a girl you met on the internet?? Are you stupid?

Hey, most of us met you on the internet ;P

[Ichbin]

Hey, most of us met you on the internet ;P

But we are all pretty stupid. :banana:

So it kinda works well together lol.

[crenn]

Well, the day is here. It's going to be interesting to say the least.

[x88x]

Good luck man.

[Ichbin]

Cheers mate!

[crenn]

Well, I'm back home from the trip, and I'm still alive! I was meant to be back yesterday night, but my flight got cancelled, so I got to spend an extra 12 hours with my girlfriend before a flight in the morning. I might share a few photos later.

[simon275]

Oh damm I just saw this thread. We should have had a mini Aussie TBCS meetup.

[crenn]

Heh, We should plan for a later date (maybe when I can drive and I have a largish car) to get the members from Victoria and go upto Sydney and meet the members in NSW.

But I was a bit busy while up in Sydney.

[crenn]

I'll upload a few more pictures tomorrow, but:

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y81/crenn/th_Sydney-crop-resized.jpg (http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y81/crenn/Sydney-crop-resized.jpg)

[Waynio]

But we are all pretty stupid. :banana:

So it kinda works well together lol.

Been feeling a bit down today, did a bit of a stupid jealous rant about 3d cnc on bit tech last night, got a righteous virtual slap quite speedily, quickly came to my senses & I gave as sincere of an apology as I could & edited my post, was starting to believe I should disapear from modding and forums, which is what brought me to this post. Was on the edge of disapearing from modding & Ichbin cheered me up finishing the funniest combo quote I seen in a while :D.

Ichbin that really cheered me up good mate, that dancing banana was made for that quote lol awesome, I know it gets used a bit but how fitting it is on that quote, nice one :), such an awesome funny combo starting from TheGreatSatan lol, needed that laugh :D.

Glad to hear it turned out good for you crenn :).

[Ichbin]

It's what I'm here for.

:D

Glad I could keep ya in the pool.