The Daily LOL

[ZeD]

Heard a good one lately? maybe a funny pic or video you found online? Put those stupid FWDs to use and let us know whatcha got.

I'll start

http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/video/sweeties.wmv

(right click save-as)

[ZeD]

National Terrorist Watch List (http://www.bordergatewayprotocol.net/jon/humor/video/SNL-SuspectedTerrorists-RobertDeNiro.wmv)

[MrSlacker]

hahahahahaha!!!!!!!

lucky kid, i wish i could go to a store and start trashing the place

[Frakk]

http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

[ZeD]

The NEW Poopie List!

Years of straining with poopie-ing, we can only count the number of Ghost poopies, Dangling poopies, and the beloved Surprised poopie that have passed though our sewers! But into a new era we go - and scientists have begun a new quest: find, contain, and label the newest addition to the infamous poopie list. Scientists, Chae B., and Brandon W., are publishing a book on the different types of poopies in order to let people become more in touch with their inner poopie. They have included the old but improved poopies, and recently classified additions to the poo family - all with bona fide scientific names!

GHOST POOPIE (ghostus poopius)
You strain and grunt for many minutes and swear you felt the poopie exited your rectum, but to your awful and painful surprise, there is no poopie in the toilet!

CLEAN POOPIE (cleanius poopius)
The poopie comes out, you see it in the toilet, and your butt feels as slippery as an eel, but there is no poopie streak on the toilet paper! Also see UPPER-CLASS POOPIE

WET POOPIE (drainiuges poopius)
Even after an excruciating 50 wipes of toilet paper and your butthole is feeling as raw as new skin, your butt still feels unclean. You end up becoming desperate and folding a piece of toilet paper into a T-shape and sticking on end inside your anus and the other two following the contour of your butt. You do this for a secure tamponish feel.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE (startulus secondus poopius)
One of the hated poopies; it occurs when you stand up after poopie-ing and begin to pull your pants up. You suddenly have to squeeze your butt checks together as you rip them down, slamming your butt against the seat (hurting it) and poopie-ing to the point of relief. Also see THIRD WAVE POOPIE

POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD POOPIE (killus veinius poopius)
A dreadful poopie that is one of the leading causes of death in poopie-ing. Crapping can be dangerous! The poopie makes you strain so much, you practically have a stroke, and some people do!

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE (presidentis poopius)
The poopie is so huge, you're afraid to flush it without first chopping it up into smaller chunks. The leading cause of the presidentis poopius is not chewing your food well.

GASSY POOPIE (gassius poopius)
A dreadful poopie when attending a social or get-together; a very loud and excessive blurting sound is accompanied by a shear spills of liquid poopie.

CROP DUSTER POOPIE (cropius poopius)
Occurs when walking through a room filled with people and begins with long stream of gas and small poopie pellets.

DRINKER POOPIE (drunkius poopius)
A most noticeable poopie trait among the elderly and divorced people. Occurs after a long night of excessive drinking and doing shots. One of the more noticeable traits is the greenish-brown skid marks on the toilet bottom. Another trait is the occasional poopie on the floor when sight is disrupted and the poopier misses.

CORN POOPIE (cornius poopius)
The cornius poopius is one of the hardest poopies to poopie. During the procces of poopie-ing, the poopier feels a bit uncomfortable due to the following reasons: 1) The large bumps that accompany the poopie usually block rectum passage. 2) Sometimes the corn in the poopie with scrape off inside the poopier and clog the anus, causing great discomfort and an occasional doctor visit.

NUT POOPIE (nutius poopius)
One of the - if not THE most painful poopie in the whole history of poopi-ing occurs when one has too much fiber and/or does not chew food finely enough. It can cause rectum cuts and what we at the research center call 'Burn Trails.'

GEE I WISH I COULD POOPIE POOPIE (gee I wish I could poopius poopius)
A severe case among both the younger and older generation. It starts with mild cramping in the lower part of the abdomen and then worsens. Finally, when you get to a poopie disposal, also known as a toilet, you can't poopie! You just sit on the john and fart and maybe get out an occasional squirt or two, but sadly, no poopie.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE (screamus loudusly poopius)
A dangerous poopie! One that takes much effort, groaning, and gripping your knees to the point of pure pain. When it does finally come out, you wish it hadn't. It hurts so badly, you'd swear it came out sideways. And to prove it, you see if it is lying sideways in the toilet. Then you go get some witnesses, so that you'll have proof.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (splashius assius poopius)
A poopie hated by elderly and fat people, because they can't reach far behind them to wipe them. A poopie so violent, that it splashes down and causes water to splash your butt and the small of your back and rarely, your legs! Have lots of toilet paper for this one people! Play it safe!

LIQUID POOPIE (waterius poopius)
A very quick poopie, but not the cleanest by far. It is characterized by green-yellow-brown liquid like poopie that shoots rapidly from your anus and goes everywhere.

UPPER-CLASS POOPIE (preppius poopius)
A very uncommon poopie that occurs after eating healthy foods and lots of nice water. It doesn't stink! WTF is that? A poopie that doesn't stink! Well, it should be in the protected ass group due to its near extinction and rare occurrences.

SURPRISE POOPIE (****ius on thyselfius poopius)
The most hated poopie of them all. You're not near the toilet, in a crown of people, or in a classroom and you think your just gonna sneak a little fart out but tagging along with that little fart is a little poopie!

THE DANGLING POOPIE (klingonius poopius)
Another hated poopie. This poopie loves to attach itself firmly to one side of your butt cheek and stay there. You try desperately to shake it off, but to no avail. This deadly poopie is also referred to as the dreaded Klingon!

MEXICAN POOPIUS (foreignius poopius)
A party poopie! This poopie explodes like a piñata and burns burns burns. It then continues to dribble and gurgle farts. It emits a vague picante aroma. A stimulating albeit mushy experience indeed!

SHOTGUN POOPIE (12-gaugius poopius)
A poopie that is thought to be a fart while on the toilet, but it explodes violently with a loud gunlike fart and at least 12 poopie pellets shoot out. Anything in the toilet is brutally mauled.

DEAD DROP POOPIE (zombies poopius)
The biggest poopies of them all! A poopie so huge, so enormously deadly, it takes at least a dozen flushes, some jabbing, and praying to get it down. Referred to as the big brother of the Lincoln Log Poopie.

LITTLE NOISY POOPIE (scardius likus hellius poopius)
A poopie that is the noisiest poopie in the entire history, bigger than the gassy poopie! Occurs after heavy drinking and bean eating. No solid poopie is emitted from the rectum, but spatters and small chucks are. The only time these are expelled is when a violent FART takes place. This poopie usually lasts up to 5 hours!

These are all the know poopies of man. Please look soon for the "Gauge Your Poopie Strength Test" and "The Advanced Poopie List."

[ZeD]

A little boy wrote to Santa ...

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."
Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

[ZeD]

Getting Old

There was a man who really took care of his body. One day he took a look in the mirror and noticed that he was tan all over except for his penis. So he decided to do something about it. He went to the beach and got completely undressed and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out.

Two old ladies were strolling along the beach, one using a cane. Upon seeing the thing sticking up out of the sand, she began to move it around with her cane, remarking to the other lady, ''There is no justice in this world.'' The other lady asked what she meant.

"Well, when I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot all about it. Now I'm 80 and the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat!"

[Frakk]

someone gotta be reallyf.in screwed in the head to write that poopie list with all those descriptions....:D

[MrSlacker]

ZeD, i hope you copy/pasted that list :p :p

[Frakk]

ZeD, i hope you copy/pasted that list :p :p

yeah... after his glowing usb turd guide i wouldnt be surprise :D:D:D

[ZeD]

Rofl

[Crimson Sky]

methinks Zed has a scat fetish...Blech!!!@!

[Frakk]

i laughed 20 mins on this one:
http://wimp.com/italianenglish/

our best friend Billy feels a little embarrassed after WinXP MC freezes on live tv :D
http://wimp.com/difficulties/

[jonopaul01]

I loved the one of BG but I just want to kick that presenter.

[Xato]

Lol, that was Conan O'Brian. One of the US late night show presenters. They all suck if you ask me... =D
All australia's got is Rove, but he's pretty cool, he roxors my boxors.

[Rachel]

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1.For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive- but would run on only five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same sized butt.
9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before deploying.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Dept.
12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

[Cwrench]

HA...HA
The best find yet, thanks Rachel.

[ZeD]

I nearly died when I heard this. (http://www.moddedcomputers.com/sounds/nedgaylesbochannel.mp3) (right click and save-as)

[Xato]

Hahahaha! that freakin ruled! The end especially!
ZeD For the Win!

[MrSlacker]

I nearly died when I heard this. (http://www.moddedcomputers.com/sounds/nedgaylesbochannel.mp3) (right click and save-as)
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Zeus]

Rotflmfao!!

[Rachel]

IF OPERATING SYSTEMS WERE AIRLINES ...

DOS Air: All the passengers go out onto the runway, grab hold of the plane, push it until it gets in the air, hop on, and jump off when it hits the ground. Then they grab the plane again, push it back into the air, hop on, et cetera.

Mac Airways: The cashiers, flight attendants and pilots all look the same, feel the same and act the same. When asked questions about the flight, they reply that you don't want to know, don't need to know and would you please return to your seat and watch the movie.

Windows Airlines: The terminal is very neat and clean, the attendants all very attractive, the pilots very capable. The fleet of Learjets the carrier operates is immense. Your jet takes off without a hitch, pushing above the clouds, and at 20,000 feet it explodes without warning.

OS/2 Skyways: The terminal is almost empty, with only a few prospective passengers milling about. The announcer says that their flight has just departed, wishes them a good flight, though there are no planes on the runway. Airline personnel walk around, apologizing profusely to customers in hushed voices, pointing from time to time to the sleek, powerful jets outside the terminal on the field. They tell each passenger how good the real flight will be on these new jets and how much safer it will be than Windows Airlines, but that they will have to wait a little longer for the technicians to finish the flight systems. Maybe until mid-1995. Maybe longer.

Fly Windows NT: All the passengers carry their seats out onto the tarmac, placing the chairs in the outline of a plane. They all sit down, flap their arms and make jet swooshing sounds as if they are flying.

Unix Express: all passenger bring a piece of the airplane and a box of tools with them to the airport. They gather on the tarmac, arguing constantly about what kind of plane they want to build and how to put it together. Eventually, the passengers split into groups and build several different aircraft, but give them all the same name. Some passengers actually reach their destinations. All passengers believe they got there.

Wings of OS/400: The airline has bought ancient DC-3s, arguably the best and safest planes that ever flew, and painted "747" on their tails to make them look as if they are fast. The flight attendants, of course, attend to your every need, though the drinks cost $15 a pop. Stupid questions cost $230 per hour, unless you have SupportLine, which requires a first class ticket and membership in the frequent flyer club. Then they cost $500, but your accounting department can call it overhead.

MVS Air Lines: The passengers all gather in the hangar, watching hundreds of technicians check the flight systems on this immense, luxury aircraft. This plane has at least 10 engines and seats over 1,000 passengers; bigger models in the fleet can have more engines than anyone can count and fly even more passengers than there are on Earth. It is claimed to cost less per passenger mile to operate these humungous planes than any other aircraft ever built, unless you personally have to pay for the ticket. All the passengers scramble aboard, as do the 200 technicians needed to keep it from crashing. The pilot takes his place up in the glass cockpit. He guns the engines, only to realize that the plane is too big to get through the hangar doors.

AND FINALLY ...
Air Windows/95: You've heard about it and there are a few people who have actually flown on it, and they rave about it, but you hate them and secretly wish you could try it too. The company has been promising flights for a year but has yet to start selling tickets.

[Bmad]

http://www.people.freenet.de/biertijd/movies/flash_axelfrog.html <--- here a funnie tune enjoy it :D:D:D:D

[Bmad]

http://www.thestatenislandboys.com/All_da_Crap_is_here/Caroline.swf <--- kisses from a very nice girl :):):):):)

[Frakk]

http://www.people.freenet.de/biertijd/movies/flash_axelfrog.html <--- here a funnie tune enjoy it :D:D:D:D

here is the first part for it:
http://wimp.com/thing/

[Zeus]

here is the first part for it:
http://wimp.com/thing/

Do you know any mirror's for that. blocked at work

[Frakk]

no i dont. cant u check it at home? :D

[Xato]

that **** was all over aussie TV...
I'm sad that the frog didn't die in that clip.

[jonopaul01]

Here in the UK, we have had so much of the Crazy Frog that I actually want to shoot myself, or more accurately the Multi-Millionaire who created it and has now made over £4 000 000 pounds by selling it as a ringtone.
Good one on the airlines by the way. Is that kind of old because it sounds like it was written before W95 was released?

[Zeus]

I have never heard of it. At least not in my particular neck of the woods

[jonopaul01]

I envy you. It is really terrible after you have hears it over 20 times a day.

[The Lotharian]

http://www.nbc.com/nbc/The_Office/your_office/yo_133.shtml#youroffice

My idiot friends messed with me back when I was interning, and now they put that old photo on NBC's 'The Office' website. Behold, my 5 mbps of internet fame...

[MisterChief]

Here's a funny saying:

"You can't laugh at someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. Only then can you laugh at them because you're a mile away and you have their shoes..."

[Zeus]

Here's a funny saying:

"You can't laugh at someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. Only then can you laugh at them because you're a mile away and you have their shoes..."


I love that one. Do you mind if I steal it for my sig line on other forums?

[MrSlacker]

Here's a funny saying:

"You can't laugh at someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. Only then can you laugh at them because you're a mile away and you have their shoes..."
LMAO!

[Xato]

Lol, i've heard it before.
It remains a classic though, depending on who tells it.

[MisterChief]

I love that one. Do you mind if I steal it for my sig line on other forums?

Be my guest :p

[jonopaul01]

Okay. This is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. Red vs Blue (http://public.www.planetmirror.com/pub/redvsblue/index2.html) is one of the funniest videos I have ever watched. It is a series featuring the Halo MasterChief's stuck in Blood Gulch. Loads of episodes (57). Very Funny. Very Explicit Language especially in the later episodes. Other episodes can be found at http://www.redvsblue.com/home.php

[MisterChief]

Okay. This is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen. Red vs Blue (http://public.www.planetmirror.com/pub/redvsblue/index2.html) is one of the funniest videos I have ever watched. It is a series featuring the Halo MasterChief's stuck in Blood Gulch. Loads of episodes (57). Very Funny. Very Explicit Language especially in the later episodes. Other episodes can be found at http://www.redvsblue.com/home.php

wow... :eek:





I thought everyone knew about RvB...

Hehe, good entertainment it be! :D

[Xato]

lol yeh, RvB is old school... season 3 just finished i think... (19 eps per series)
The first series was the funniest in my opinion.

[Rachel]

Lan Party.....
http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/pictures/308-lanparty.jpg

[MrSlacker]

Lan Party.....
http://www.davesdaily.com/pictures/pictures/308-lanparty.jpg
that pic is soooo old. hehe

[Rachel]

I just found it. It made me laugh. It's not as bad as the RVB. :)

[ZeD]

I watched those rvb episodes for the first time, they are hilarious. BTW Rachel red X grr

[Rachel]

I thought this was funny...
http://www.mylivingtree.com/6817pic/706/CP2706.jpg

[Zeus]

what was funny?

[Xbrid]

lol

[Zeus]

LOL. That is very funny.

Check this out tooo
http://wowvault.ign.com/View.php?view=Videos.Detail&id=56

[Xbrid]

would i get in trouble for posting link to something slighty explict?

[Frakk]

if your mom catches you im sure you will :D

[Xbrid]

http://www.jokefrog.com/flash/dear-penis.shtml
http://www.jokefrog.com/flash/hamster-dance.shtml

[Xbrid]

forgot this. http://www.funnyjunk.com/pages/world.htm

[Rachel]

Stupid hampster :D Now someone needs to do the same thing to this one.
Stupid Badgers (http://www.badgerbadgerbadger.com)

[Frakk]

the end of the world is prolly the funniest aniamtion that is out there. i mean what a genius u have to be to come up with stuff like that :D

[Xbrid]

WTF is with the badgers? lol

[Xbrid]

www.Liquidgeneration.com has lots of funny stuff. i dunno the exact links cause it's a flash site.

[Xbrid]

the end of the world is prolly the funniest aniamtion that is out there. i mean what a genius u have to be to come up with stuff like that :D
or have serious mental problems

[Xato]

Here's one for the World of Warcraft fans out there...
WoW experience isn't necesary to get this, this type of thng happens in single player games sometimes... :D

http://internetgames.about.com/b/a/170365.htm

[Frakk]

that whole group was pretty dumb following him. I would have left him DIE! :D but hey, now theyre famous for their stupidity :D

[Xato]

'least i have chicken.

[Zeus]

I like pudding

[Frakk]

http://wimp.com/anger/

[inspiredbyasphalt]

lol, maybe not the best thing to send to dad for fathers day...

[Frakk]

its for friends not dads. i think its hilarious

edit: omg i just found this: http://wimp.com/bars/ just way tooooo funny

also: http://wimp.com/skid/

[inspiredbyasphalt]

ok so i can send the 'bars' for fathers day

[Frakk]

fathers day was las week dude :D

[Zeus]

someone's livingin the past

[inspiredbyasphalt]

oops, could i blame a dialup connection for that?
thanks for the headsup, am i the worst son ever... *sigh

[Rachel]

Hey I didn't say a word to my dad... I don't think anyone did... He's a jerk.

[Xato]

I dont even know when fathers day is...

[Rachel]

Mystery of Britney Spears' Breasts (http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/britneys_breasts.asp)

[Xato]

Lol i've seen that before... It does seem intruiging... i must do some hands on reaseach in the field.

I find it quite sad that i watched the entire thing... boths times i've seen it.

[Xbrid]

how do you find the link on a flash site?

[Zeus]

grasshoper hops into a bar and onto a stool. Bartender takes a look at him and says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"

Grasshoper looks at the bartender in disbelief, "You have a drink named Steve?"

[Xbrid]

http://www.somethingwrong.co.uk/crazy_frog_baseball/

[NetSapiens]

two horses are standing out in the meadow, enjoying the sun.

One says: "Dang, I'm hungry enough I could eat a horse!"
Other says: "Mooooh"