PC from HELL.

[Luke122]

I was inspired by the horror story contest, but since I could only post one in there, I figured I'd start a new thread to share some of my worst experiences with customers, friends, and just general PC horror stories.

Here's the latest:

A friend mine stopped by my office last week, to ask me about his GF's computer.

"She got this computer for free from some friend of hers, and it's running like crap. Can you come look at it? She wants this other guy to come check it out, but he's a tool."

Me: "Sure, I'll come by on Monday to look at it."

So monday rolls around, and I head over to check it out.

It's a Celeron 933 with 256mb Ram, a 3gb Hdd, a 5gb Hdd, and it's running Winxp Pro. Hmm.. unusual configuration. Symantec AV Corporate edition? Wtf?

"We got it a few days ago" he said, "and hooked it up to the internet. Now it's just a dog!"

A little investigation shows that this PC has NEVER been patched or updated. No updates on the av, no updates to Windows. No router, no firewall, nothing. Straight into a cable modem.

Oh God....

So i started with the usual; Msconfig to clean up the services and startup, dump the temp/prefetch directories, clear the internet cache, and try to set IE to be a *little* more secure. Reboot, and try to get online.

I managed to get the av updated, and suddenly it starts popping up with virus warnings like mad... no suprise there. Windows update will not work, no matter what. Hosts file is fine, clock is right, it simply wont allow the updates to download.

Manage to get to grc.com (love this site) and install the "3 Musketeers".. Unplug'N'Pray, Dcombobulator, and "Shoot the messenger". Downloaded spybot, tcpview, and startuplist to continue the cleanup efforts.

After deleting a bunch of viruses (as I'd by the av) and running spybot, the machine is starting up a lot faster, and is nearly tolerable for speed. Still cant run windows updates though.. hmm. I managed to go to the MS download site, and pull down IE6 sp1, and install that. Much better.. now the windows update site is working.. sort of.

Scans for updates, finds them, downloads them, fails on the install. Grrrr...

This is now hour 3 with the PC.

Another reboot, and now I see that winlogon.exe is running at nearly 100% cpu utilization.. great. Administrative tools, hit up the local security policy.. omfg. Try to make a change in here and get a new error.. "Group policy does not allow these changes."

Group policy? Standalone computer in it's own fictional workgroup.. perhaps this computer was "liberated" from a business somewhere..? That would explain the XP Pro (appears to be a volume license also..) and Symantec Corporate edition. (I later found out that this computer was once used in an accounting office, and was replaced with a new one.. not stolen, just made obsolete.)

So I'm stuck with some interesting choices at this point.. the pc didnt come with any software, so if I reformat and reinstall, I've got no software or license keys.. I have to make this thing work, or they have to buy a new OS and AV software. There's no such thing as a free PC.

I manage to get the group policy removed (good old regedit), remove a bunch more files created on each reboot by some still hidden virus, and get a few more updates from the ms download site.

I'm now pushing 5 hours onsite with this PC, and losing my patience rapidly.

Me: "I'm gonna take this thing home.. is that ok?"

Friend: "Sure thing man.. do what you have to do."

So I take the PC home, and go to bed.

Next day, I pull the hdd out, make sure my av is up to date, slave it in my PC, and scan it from there.

After finally managing to pull out the rest of the viruses and defrag the drive, I put it back into their PC, and reboot. "missing system files"

!(*@*&!@#$

Reboot, safe mode, run "SFC /scannow" and let it do it's thing.

"Please insert Windows XP cdrom", so I drop in my cd. Get a wrong disc error.. Oops.. xp home. Drop in XP pro.. same error. Drop in OEM xp pro.. same error. Try XP pro volume license disc.. same error. &^#%$#!

2 hours later, I manage to find another XP pro disc.. the oldest one I could find... and it works. *sigh* Another hour or so to finish the sfc, and reboot. Now I can run the windows updates, and everything seems to be working properly. (Yes, I'm behind a firewall at this point)

Get all the windows updates done up to sp2. Now for the big test. SP2 starts to download.. "Warning, hdd space very low." Ah crap.. 3gb hdd.

I'm now upwards of 8 hours on this PC. Honestly.. if these people werent my friends, I'd just tell the owners "buy a new dell." 8 hours already at $75/hr (usual rate).. this thing wouldnt be worth the hassle.

Anyways.. clear out everything i can from the hdd, change the temp/tmp/my documents to the second (5gb) hdd, and download SP2 offline to there as well. Unpack it there, and run from there as well..

After installing sp2, enabling the firewall and the automatic updates, I finally manage to run a full system scan for viruses, and spyware. Windows update cant complete because there's no space left on the drive.

7mb free on the primary hdd (*!&@#*!^@^&!$@#!@#!!@%) and getting constant errors about the hdd being full.

*sigh* Yes, I already changed the swap file to the secondary drive, and disabled system restore (did that for the virus scan). After a bit more investigation, discovered hibernation was enabled. Removed that, and gained another 700mb when the hiberfil.sys file was removed on reboot.

In the end, after all the updates were completed, the drive had 12mb free space. I took it online, did a little surfing, grabbed a few codecs, drive is full. I took it back to their house and set it up, got them online, and told them the bad news.

Me: "You MUST buy a new hdd.. this one is way too small. And you MUST buy a router/firewall... it's not safe to be online without one."

Him: "Ok, we'll pick them up then, and can you set them up for us?"

Me: "No worries."

Yeah, I'm a good friend. Now here's the part that chaps my ass... After all that fuss, his gf tells him that she's not happy with it, that she knows this other guy who could have done it faster, and they wouldnt have to buy anything. Wtf? She knows nothing about computers, and apparently this friend of hers who "knows all about computers" (havent we all heard this one before?) is the "tool" who my friend didnt trust in the first place.

And this isnt the worst pc I've had to deal with either. Stay tuned for that one next.

I guess this is the new complaining thread. :D

[Luke122]

The Next Worst Thing... PC from hell 2. (aka Users from Hell)


Dealing with friends is always hard, because if something isnt worth the time or money, it's hard to break it to them because they figure that since you are their friend, they shouldnt have to pay. And that ain't right.

A couple years back, I got a call from a friend to come remove a virus from his parents computer. It was a pentium 333mmx, with 32mb ram running WinMe. This was in 2001, so it was not *toooo* out of date at that time.. but it was definitely behind the times.

Anyways, no av and no firewall connected directly to their dsl modem. *sigh*.. when will people learn?

After about 4 hours of cleanup, I got things up and running, and all was well. They offered me some money for the cleanup, so I accepted. I'm not gonna turn down a donation. :D Friends father offered me some work with his company, and potentially a technician position there. I was very interested, and gave him a resume.

I took the money they gave me, and added it to my little stash of spending money, and realized that I could finally afford a new pc with the money I made. Yay! Went out and bought a new ECS mobo, 256mb ram, and a 733mhz processor. I recycled all the rest of my components, including my 16mb Banshee video card. Quake 2 never looked so good.

A couple days later, they called me up and asked if I could build them a new computer to replace their aging one. I said, "Sure.. what do you want to do with the old one?" They said that I could have it if I wanted.. I should have clarified that it was a gift, as opposed to payment for the upgrade... my bad.

I used their components with the new mobo ram and proc, and put it in a nice new tool-less case. Set it up, tested, released. Took the old PC and the cash for the parts. This is where I found out that I would make no profit on the deal.. the old PC was payment. Ok, well.. whatever. Broke even anyways, plus got some old parts to play with. :mad:

2 days later, I get a call. "PC is not working." I go over, and it wont boot up.. just blank screen. Reseat the cards/proc/ram, still not working. New power cords, etc, still no go.

After asking what they were doing when it died, I find out "vacuuming". *sigh* Static killed it.

I replaced the motherboard from my own pocket, and tell them not to zap it again. :mad:

2 days later, another call. "PC isnt working. What kind of computer did you sell us?" Grrr.... :mad:

This time it's full of viruses again.. apparently the older son was surfing some "hacking" sites and grabbed a bunch of crap, and ended up getting their computer compromised. *sigh*. Another clean up, and a warning about downloading exploit software and warez.

2 more days go by.. phone again. I'm now shivering everytime I see their number on the call display. Guess what? "Pc wont boot up again.. what is wrong with this thing?"

Clearly, the keyboard chair interface is the offender here. Anyways....

My friend (?) downloaded some warez from somewhere or other (he cant remember), and when he installed it, they got a lovely little virus called "Chernobyl". Maybe you've heard of it? It flashes your bios. Bye bye.

@&%^#%$@#!@#!@%#^@&$#*@#!!!

I call the shop where i got the mobo to get a replacement bios. "We dont sell them.. try the manufacturer."

So I email and phone ECS.. same answer. "You have to replace the whole board. Try to get an RMA from your vendor."

Another call to the computer shop, "We dont RMA stuff for virus damage. Buy a new one."

I explained to the family that the PC was killed by a virus, and that the board would need to be replaced. Their answer, "Replace it."

Me: "I already replaced it once out of my pocket, and since this wasnt my fault, I cant do that again. The new board will be around $150."

Well, that was it. "what kind of con artist are you" and such was thrown at me, as well as the usual, "the old one never had these problems".

I snapped.. "If you had listened to what I told you about downloading warez and hacking sh*t, this wouldnt have happened. This is your own fault!"

My "friend" : "I downloaded all that stuff on the old computer too! It didnt die!"

me: "This all started because the old computer was full of viruses from you anyways. Look, if you want your old PC back, and your money back, fine. I'll refund you, put all your stuff back the way it was, but that's all I can do for you. I cant deal with you guys anymore."

Them: "Never mind, we'll find someone else to fix it.":mad:

That was the end of the friendship, and the fathers office red flagged my resume as a "do not hire", and made sure to send it around to some of their affiliate companies as well. Legal action ensued (by me). :mad:

I later found out from someone else, that they took the PC to the shop where I bought it from, and they fixed it "supposedly" for free. :mad: <-- if there was a REALLY mad icon, I would be using it here.

Ah yes.. this was all 6 years ago, and I havent spoken to that family (or dealt with that shop) since.

That was also the last time that I ever offered to sell anyone a PC. Now when I get asked, "I repair them, but I dont sell them."

I still maintain that I did nothing wrong here, and that by offering their money back (and their old PC), that should have proved that I was not trying to scam them! Some people are just asshats.

[tybrenis]

Wow. That seriously blows. Your friend's girlfriend is a bitch. And that kid is a dick. I've had similar happen to me. I'm home sick right now so I don't feel like writing but I've had some decent horror stories.

[Omega]

and apparently this friend of hers who "knows all about computers"



Whenever I hear this kind of **** I usually say "no, you're wrong, they don't know jack ****". Very few people's technical knowledge has matched mine out of those people who "know all about computers".

[tybrenis]

Whenever I hear this kind of **** I usually say "no, you're wrong, they don't know jack ****". Very few people's technical knowledge has matched mine out of those people who "know all about computers".

Same with me. As a teenager I hear kids all the time who are like "I'm so great with computers". One kid was like "I'm so good with computers I might even build my own this summer". I was like, "Congratulations. I built my first computer at age 10, and you don't see me bragging about it." This was in front of like 30 people. He felt like such a douche (which he is, cocky SOB).

[Luke122]

That's exactly my point... the people who supposedly know their stuff often dont have a clue.

I have another story also.. though this one is more funny.

In high school, one of my friends was a huge C&C freak. His old 486-33 was blasting along, but once he discovered the joys of the local BBS, he decided he wanted a modem.

I just happened to have a 9600baud ISA modem that I could spare, so I installed it for him, and left him to try it out. He called me a while later to ask me why his sound was acting goofy in C&C.. turns out there was an irq conflict.

me: "Well, just pull the modem out for now, and I'll fix tomorrow when I come over."

Him: "Ok"..... *ZAAAAAPP*

Me: "WTF was THAT?!"

Him: "I pulled the modem out.. and the computer turned off..?"

Me: "You pulled it out while it was running.."

Him: "Was that bad?"

Turns out it was fine.. just a quick reboot and it was working.. luckily.

I reinstalled the modem the next day, and two weeks later a lightning hit killed his computer... through the phone line. :)

[Luke122]

I didnt build my first pc until I was 13.. 1993. It was a 386 33mhz, with 4mb ram. DOOM!!!!!

Got my first 486 in 1994 (SX-25), and my first Pentium (technically it was a Cyrix 586 -100mhz) in 1996. Yeah, she was pimp. Quake!

I did actually start playing with computers much earlier though.. 1986, my school got an Apple IIc.. everyone was scared of it, but I was totally enthralled. Pretty soon, I was the one who used it the most.

I've worked as a technician since 1997... helpdesk, call centres, on-site support, and now finally I'm managing an IT department. Just started my own consulting biz on the side, but I'm still not selling things.. just services. :D

[tybrenis]

Well, I'm still a youngin' at only 15. I hate to admit it, because it seems that as soon as you hear someone's that young, you seem to lose respect for them...

I of all people should know its wrong. But when I hear someone on a forum who's like "I just built my first computer" I'm like, ok, ok, sounds good, then on their next post it might say "BTW I'm 15" I immediately label them just another dumb kid. Like most the kids I know my age.

When I see a kid modding I'm always amazed at their abilities at a young age. But then I remember... my first mod was when I was 11. Cirque du Soleil was done when I was 14! Sometimes I feel a lot older than I really am. I find myself shaking my head at America's youth, giving my friends fatherly advice, and teling my friends to grow up. It's easy to forget that I AM a part of America's youth, not someone looking down on them. Perhaps its my love of history. My friends will ask something like "Culture club, who the heck are they?" and I'll find myself answering "Culture club! You don't know who culture club is? Where were you in the 80's?" ... then I remember I wasn't even conceived in the 80's... *hangs head in shame*

I've never had a real job working with computers, but I started my first company when I was 13, in the summer of 05'. I started building and selling computers, repairing them, and then, that September, I started selling parts and components online. Now I sell both online and locally, stocking over 100,000 products.

[slytherock]

Well, I'm still a youngin' at only 15. I hate to admit it, because it seems that as soon as you hear someone's that young, you seem to lose respect for them...

I of all people should know its wrong. But when I hear someone on a forum who's like "I just built my first computer" I'm like, ok, ok, sounds good, then on their next post it might say "BTW I'm 15" I immediately label them just another dumb kid. Like most the kids I know my age.

When I see a kid modding I'm always amazed at their abilities at a young age. But then I remember... my first mod was when I was 11. Cirque du Soleil was done when I was 14! Sometimes I feel a lot older than I really am. I find myself shaking my head at America's youth, giving my friends fatherly advice, and teling my friends to grow up. It's easy to forget that I AM a part of America's youth, not someone looking down on them. Perhaps its my love of history. My friends will ask something like "Culture club, who the heck are they?" and I'll find myself answering "Culture club! You don't know who culture club is? Where were you in the 80's?" ... then I remember I wasn't even conceived in the 80's... *hangs head in shame*

I've never had a real job working with computers, but I started my first company when I was 13, in the summer of 05'. I started building and selling computers, repairing them, and then, that September, I started selling parts and components online. Now I sell both online and locally, stocking over 100,000 products.
I must say that I'm totally impress by you. seriously, look at all you already done, and you have a really mature alking, I like that. I just wanted you to know... (ok, now I feel like a sucker :p )

Back to the topic, those "I know about computers" make me sick too. But what make me even more sick also been mentionned: those who beleive we know all about computers and get angry the second we face a problem we cant resolve.

Just this morning, a friend of mine, a cute girl, drop by my office with a problem. She had a new office disk and need to install only PowerPoint. I said, no problem, it's an easy task. (BTW She's in MAC, and I hate MAC) Made a backup, Fix the problem, restore new data by the old ones. Entourage reinstalled himself even if I ask him not to (Mac's have a mind of their own :twisted: ) So she losed all her contacts. And I'm the problem... OK I'm to blame, but She decided I was the one. And she's too cute for a denial...

[AJ@PR]

Wow...
Thanks for the computer repair report... it was a fun read.

I once read in /., and stuck to that advice ever since:::
When someone comes over and asks you to "check my pc... it's something quick probably", I tell them I can't.

Period.
If you help them, you support them.

So if they *really* press the issue of me fixing their pc, I tell them that they need to drop it at my home, and let me work on it.
After it arrives at my home, I do not touch it.
Period.
Don't touch it.

After about 3-4 weeks of non-action, they always say something along the lines of:
-Dude, you're taking for ever.

At which point, I can look at them, cringe a huge smile, and say:
-You get what you pay for.

Work, on the other hand... is another story...

Thanks for the write up! :)

[Luke122]

Well, I'm still a youngin' at only 15.

HOLY CRAP MAN! You are only 15?! -respect.

Just kidding! Your forum contributions and attitude to others is NO indication of your age. In fact... +rep for you, just because you appear to be a mature and level headed member of this communityl. :D

[tybrenis]

HOLY CRAP MAN! You are only 15?! -respect.

Just kidding! Your forum contributions and attitude to others is NO indication of your age. In fact... +rep for you, just because you appear to be a mature and level headed member of this communityl. :D

Lol, thanks mate. I tend to try and remain anonymous about my age online, because for the most part, teenagers are looked down upon in society - and to be perfectly honest, I can certainly see why...

[luciusad2004]

I think what i hate more than people who think they know everything about computers is... people who think that I know everything about computers.

I will admit that i dont really know much about them. I can build one. I can install an OS. (i cant dual boot yet though... that was a mistake to try) I can do most basic operations. But like i said, ill admit that i cant do anything overly technical. It's just so aggravating, as soon as anyone says "computer" someone in the room will be like, "CHARLES knows computers, Charles can help you!" and then people start asking questions i cant answer, which makes me feel like a complete idiot.

I plan on going to college for computer science but after reading some of these posts that might be a mistake lol.

[Luke122]

To be completely honest with you, I love my career. I get to try out new technology, I have some freedom to try new ideas, to read and research, and having only a few people to support (50ish) gives me lots of time to build things.

Sure, I've had some horror stories.. everyone does. They are usually few and far between.. the three that I"ve posted took place over 10 years.

If you love working with computers, then go for a career in it. The day goes by pretty quickly when you like your job. :D

[luciusad2004]

Lol yeah , i was just joking about not getting in to it. What i really want to get in to is programming though. I took a c++ class in high school and really enjoyed it. So I don't imagine i would be repairing computers all day, although i sure wouldn't mind.

However i plan on knowing enough to be able to do that sort of thing at home and maybe for my friends and family.

[xmastree]

Well, I've applied for a job here (http://madoka.3bsystems.co.uk/contactus.php) so I might end up building and fixing the things for a living.

(That's an old church building, BTW.)

[armadilloben]

Whenever I hear this kind of **** I usually say "no,
you're wrong, they don't know jack ****". Very few people's technical knowledge has matched mine out of those people who "know all about computers".


Same with me. As a teenager I hear kids all the time who are like "I'm so great with computers". One kid was like "I'm so good with computers I might even build my own this summer". I was like, "Congratulations. I built my first computer at age 10, and you don't see me bragging about it." This was in front of like 30 people. He felt like such a douche (which he is, cocky SOB).

i know exactly what you both mean, one thing that absolutely infuriates me is when people talk sh*t like that their was this one kid last year at my school who basically tried lying and bragging into being part of my group of friends and everyone got pissed off bc we know what were talking about and anyway he wouldn't shut up about how he was so good w/ pcs but yet when he invited me over to his house for a...

"play date" (who the hell calls it play date anymore)

so i learned that he had made up all this **** about his computer like "my dad works for a computer company and my hard drive has 112 megahertz" im not lying and then he was convinced that the actual computer was the ****ing monitor and im just like raging at this point and so after that we used to make fun of him like me and my friend would go and make up fake computer words and just use it around him then he would come to school the next day saying his dad just upgraded his pc and he has *insert made up computer term* blah blah blah finally we just told him to **** off and he like cried and he went to another school i kinda felt bad but i think he deserved it

[Aero]

Lol, thanks mate. I tend to try and remain anonymous about my age online, because for the most part, teenagers are looked down upon in society - and to be perfectly honest, I can certainly see why...

Lol, Ty, you've definatly gotten more mature since you first signed up here, thats for sure. You've also done atlot thats shown no matter what age you are, you can still be professional. "I'm just 14" is no longer a valid excuse for being a dick online.

-funny comp story

A few years ago I took a Business Computer Applications class at my High School. We basically learned how to use Microsoft Office. Our teacher was kinda nutz (she loved me because I knew so much and didn't need to learn anything). But nutz none the less. One day she got mad at the computer and asked my friend "why is the thing so slow?" He looked at it and said, very professionally, "OH, heres the problem. First theres not enough fans, the GPU and HDD are over heating... hmm .. thats not good..also, the northbridge isn't connected to the southbridge. Thats slowing it down. To connect them you'll need a walkway to make it faster."

She just said "Oh, ok."

[Omega]

A few years ago I took a Business Computer Applications class at my High School. We basically learned how to use Microsoft Office. Our teacher was kinda nutz (she loved me because I knew so much and didn't need to learn anything). But nutz none the less. One day she got mad at the computer and asked my friend "why is the thing so slow?" He looked at it and said, very professionally, "OH, heres the problem. First theres not enough fans, the GPU and HDD are over heating... hmm .. thats not good..also, the northbridge isn't connected to the southbridge. Thats slowing it down. To connect them you'll need a walkway to make it faster."

She just said "Oh, ok."

I'm gonna have to remember that and do it to ignorant people who ask me what's wrong.

[tybrenis]

I'm gonna have to remember that and do it to ignorant people who ask me what's wrong.

Lol! I'm done similar. I can also relate to Amadillo's story - I know a few kids that are the same way. I used to love making up computer terms and then having the kid tell the computer teacher how fast his computer was. Then the teacher told him that "mega-me-hurts" isn't a real word. I laughed pretty hard at that.

I know a kid who does the same thing with paintball stuff. One day he was like "My tipperman can shoot a hole through a steel dumpster". I laughed ridiculously hard, as the day before, my friend and I were screwing around and talking dumb and I called his "Tippmann" a "Tipperman".