Acts of Gord

[xRyokenx]

I found this website a long while ago, but still find it flat out hilarious even though it's not updated anymore. It has a little swearing, but that's about it. Happy Reading! Link! (www.actsofgord.com)

[Zephik]

Good find, good read. +1rep :up:

I like this one the best so far, probably because it reminds me of myself back in the day.


"Can you play PlayStation 2 games on a PlayStation 1?

No.

So you can't play PlayStation 2 games on a PlayStation 1??

That's right.

Are they cartridges?

No, they're CD's and DVD's.

Will it wreck my machine if I put a PS2 game in it?

No.

And it won't work?

That's correct.

But you can play PlayStation 1 games on the PlayStation 2?

Yes, the machine is backwards compatible.

But I can't play PlayStation 2 games on the PlayStation?

That's correct.

That sucks."

[progbuddy]

I love this... I remember the ones from back when (3 months ago :p).

Quote:

Damn You and Your Proof!

"What's this about your collection company saying I never returned Resident Evil 2!"

Well, you didn't return Resident Evil 2. Too complicated a concept?

"We returned it the day after we got it right though the return slot on the door!"

Really?

"Yes!"

Who did exactly?

"He did!" (point to friend).

You did?

"Yes."

Care to explain how you did that 2 months ago when that drop slot was only put in on Thursday? Here's the invoice I got a few minutes ago for it. See the date?

<dramatic pause>

"**** YOU!" and they storm out.

Note: The reason why they were in was because buddy wasn't able to get a car loan because this appeared on his credit file… And the Gord was satisfied.

[xRyokenx]

Oh, man... you guys have already known about this? Wow.

EDIT: Oh wait, nevermind, just read the posts fully, durr... I showed progbuddy here this site a while ago, good times, heh heh. That site is great though.

[Slug Toy]

simply the best... i cant say any more:


"Do you sell mod chips?"

"Go ahead, ask me what I sell."

"What do you sell?"

"I sell video games. What a stupid question."

"What does a mod chip cost?"

"Apparently one of us isn't keeping up."

"What do you mean?"

"If I sold you a mod chip, then you would never buy a game from me ever again. And that would be very much in opposition to my being able to run a profitable business."

"I just want one to play copied games."

"What? Do I look like an idiot? What the hell did you think I thought you wanted it for?"

"err…"

"Exactly. Now look, if I were to sell you a mod chip I would lose you as a customer. Now, if I were going to lose you as a customer I'd rather do it on a high note like setting you on fire. At least then I would have some satisfaction of a job well done."

"I'm leaving!"

"But I haven't set you on fire yet!"

[public_eyesore]

hours of gold

[slytherock]

This one is my fav
(http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter19.html)

[xRyokenx]

Oh, man. I had forgotten that one, that's one of my favorites too, sly... wow, that's hilarious.

[luciusad2004]

I think my favorite involved a young boy wanting to rent a Grand Theft Auto game, and the Gord denying. The father "eloquently explains" that said young child is allowed to play what ever game he wishes. I'm not going to quote it here due to language but if your reading these I'm sure you'll come across it.

A close second would be this one.
Ninja Scroll (http://www.actsofgord.com/Chronicles/chapter12.html)

[Bucko]

I went to bed far too late last nigh because I ended up reading ALL of that site!

Top find!

[xRyokenx]

I went to bed far too late last nigh because I ended up reading ALL of that site!

Top find!


Heh heh, wow... I did the same thing when I found it. Hilarious, eh?

[Zephik]

LoL! Oh man, now this one is a doozey!

"What used PC games have you got?"
"A few. How fast is your machine?"
"It's a 386-25."
<blink blink>
"I'm afraid I don't have anything that will run on that machine."
"I can run anything on it."
"No, no you can't."
"You see, I'm really good at computers. I hacked the chip, and unlocked the secret instructions that actually made my machine as fast as a Pentium 133!"
"Oh really?"
"Yep. So I can play anything. I play Half Life all the time,"
"If you say so."
"But don't tell anyone. I don't want to get sued over cracking the chip."
"I'm pretty sure that won't be a problem."

LOL and this one really hits home, yeah, I would be the one saying how sorry I was.

Gord is looking at some new rental cases that have arrived at the store for possible purchase. These were the slim line ones often found in CDR packages today, but were still quite new at the time. A soft, bendable plastic that won't shatter when dropped.
"Thinking of using these as new rental cases Gord?"
"Possibly. They are sexy and I can fit twice as many in a drawer, but I'm not sure about if they'll keep the CD from being bent."
"Ya, I see what you mean, all it takes is someone to do this and...."
<SNAP>
<Dramatic pause>
"....uhm... Sorry Gord."
"Please say that was a demo CD."
<Dramatic Pause>
"... I'm really, really sorry..."
Gord decided to stick with regular jewel cases until he migrated to DVD cases in mid 2001.

I think I laughed for a whole minute after reading this one!

http://www.actsofgord.com/Villainy/chapter09.html

[xRyokenx]

Heh heh, yeah... those two are great too... that site really is "the shiz." Gord's responses are great too... I have a few in mind that I'm planning on using in the new future *wink wink* ;)