Worst weekend ever

[jaxspades]

This has been the worst weekend ever.

I sat in a girl's room last night, here on my small college campus--a girl that I've liked since I first met her, and I still like her.

I tried, but she wasn't interested--one of those 'let's be friends' things. While talking to her, she was asking me for advise on OTHER men, and told me what she looked for in men.

Intelligence--I have it, but Common Sense is another thing.
Humor--I had her laughing like every five minutes last night, like I usually do with her.
Strong Lutheran Faith--I have it. I'm VERY strong in my faith, as some here may know ;).


But yet she still didn't like me, and there I sat, trying to give her objective, unloaded advice.


Then I had to tell my RA that one of my friends had been drinking--she had already been seen with it, but still asked a few friends and me about it. It was a darned if I do, darned if I don't situations.....


I had to tel a girl who liked me that I couldn't start a relationship with her because I'm still stuck on the girl I began this thread about. If I did start one with the girl who liked me, I couldn't give her the attention she deserves. I feel horrible about the whole thing.


And just an hour ago, I hurt my 'honorary' sister's feelings by saying something INCREDIBLY stupid. I got her a yellow rose to apologize, and made up for it, but it still sucks.

Rack one up for an incredibly awful weekend.

Sorry, I just had to rant to someone.

Hope your weekends are better!

[xRyokenx]

I know how that is... haven't had much (well, any) luck in the "love" department... but hey, if you're good friends, that might be better, sometimes if you get too romantic in a relationship it may destroy it in the end. Gotta look on the bright side of the situation. My dad says "marry your best friend," and what I got from that is to marry someone you have fun with, even if it's not all romantic. I've decided that for now I'm just gonna wait, I have plenty time, college, and then work... might find someone with similar interests and a compatible personality there, unlike where I went to school... freakin' Xenophobia County, where they're scared of what they don't know/understand, and if they hear things about you, even if it's from someone very unreliable, then they believe it, and are nervous around you... morons. But hey, now I can stay at home with my dad, get more hours at work, etc. Try to look at the bright side of things, everything happens for a reason, or if it doesn't then who knows... but I try to find the lesson in everything, and to use what I've learned, such as not to ask out whoever (one of my (repeated about three times) mistakes, not saying that you did)...

[Aero]

I've had the same luck in with relationship.exe in the folder "C:\LIFE". Damn thing won't load, at first I thought it was that I didn't have enough resources, but I had plenty. Tons of disk space, and I can multi-task. But the ****in thing give me an error message every time.




Incase you didn't follow that. In simple terms:

My love life sucks. I keep getting the "your too nice" ****. It blows. Thats how I was raised and I'll be damned if I have to change that to get a girl to like me. I'm sorry I'm not an asshole.

Although I love it when a girl goes off on the "All men are assholes" then you reply "I know, we are". The usual response is "Like this one time ____". However, one girl said to me "Come on, your not an asshole". So I said "I can be"....she laughed and then said "****** I don't think you have a sinlge bad bone in your body". By this point I was kind of confused as to why I was arguing about my statement contridicting her statement..that she was now contridicting...so I just kind of lowered my head in shame and she laughed. Havn't talked to her in 3 months now. (and I'm considering asking her to prom...not sure how that would go, but apparently she doesn't think I'm an asshole so that good..I think)

But, my friends and I sat down one night and passed a "Men of the Bar" (our take off of men of the square table) resolution that I believe says it best,

"We like tities"

[FPMachine]

If the advice of a married man who has sat in that same room next to the same girl saying the same things means anything... move on. it aint worth getting twisted over.

I also know.. you will do what you will. no advice changed my mind either. You live and you learn.

[Spacehonkey]

Best advice I can give is DO YOUR OWN THING. DON'T WORRY ABOUT BEING WHAT YOU THINK SHE WANTS YOU TO BE..... because when your wrapped up in what some chick is doing or thinking you're not having any REAL fun and who wants to be around someone not having fun. Plus when you look busy with your own life you're more appealing to others. They look at you and see a man who is doing something with his life not just sitting there waiting for something to happen. It doesn't have to be big either, nothing like looking for a cure for cancer, but something anything that intersets you and eventually you'll run across a woman with similar interests.


I also know.. you will do what you will. no advice changed my mind either. You live and you learn.
I also agree but try to learn from others before you waste so much of your valuable time.

[jaxspades]

Thanks.

I know that I shouldn't live my as she wants me to be--I don't. I do my own things, and I live my life.

I just meant that what she was looking for in men, I have, I've always had, and will always have, and I'm dependable unlike some of her 'candidates'. And gave her an answer too--I told her to go for which one of those guys accepts her for her, and is a good man--I also warned her from others.

I live on my own, though I'm still not over her....if that makes any sense--I can go on, because I do--I'm too busy to worry about it.

Thanks for all the advise. I needed to rant, and you guys listened.

[nil8]

Females until their mid 20's have a real tendency to date assholes and idiots. They think they can change them. It seems idiotic to men, because we know and understand the nature of these types of guys. They will always be abusive, careless people and girls will flock to them until they learn better. Some never do. Don't wait around. Tell her what you really think and never say I told you so.

Picking a partner isn't entirely a rational choice either. You might meet all her standards, but she doesn't feel that way about you. Emotion isn't logical and can't be rationalized as a logical thing. Accept what is and move on.

If I've learned anything from my few relationships, it's this. Patience is your biggest ally. If you're patient and don't drop your standards, you will have a few superb relationships, instead of a large number of crappy ones.

I haven't had a girlfriend in almost 5 years, and I'm fine with that. I'm doing my thing with my life and when a woman comes into it, I'll enjoy my situation then. Until then, I'm going to remain open to the people around me and wait patiently for someone as strange as me who enjoys my company to come along.

[Drew]

I married my best friend :D:D:D 11 years later, well chuffed.

Sorry dude, you've entered 'the friend zone'. You're knackered with her now, and she'll never start a relationship with her friend, because you're 'safe'.

Like we all know 'All women love an asshole'.

They'll marry an asshole, and come to you for consolation when it all goes wrong (like when he gets drunk and batters her).

I'm guilty of being a 'nice guy', and just got lucky.

I can only hope for you to be as fortunate.

If not, just kick the ****e out of every boyfriend she ever gets.

Actually, don't do that...

You need to discredit them..

I'll stop now. I hate assholes, especially when they're hooked up with a lovely partner who deserves more.

Sorry, I'm ranting.

I'll leave now.

And don't go battering people, it's naughty...

[Bucko]

And don't go battering people, it's naughty...

But with fish it different. It's so so tasty!

Seriously though, I've been there in the friend zone. Once you are in, you are stuck.
I've had enough crappy relationships, which I'm not going to mention here, but it has led me to be happily single and not looking. Suits me fine.

[Slug Toy]

god... so im not the only one with problems in this department. i have plenty of friends who are girls, but ive never had one girlfriend yet. and yes, im a nice guy too, although id say a dead-set one. by that i mean i dont hesitate to put the assholes into place. im not THAT nice.

ya, it puts me off that im stuck all alone and im already 19, but what nil8 said is true about women being interested in the assholes at least until mid 20's... or whenever they decide to "settle down". i think they're all too busy shopping and being way too materialistic.

when all else fails, turn to womens' "favourite" attribute, honesty. express your feelings and ask if it means anything. you'll get a definite answer right then and there.

being strong helps your chances too. im not exactly a perfect example of this, but am an example. last year before june, my parents called me a stick insect. i was skinny. 6 feet tall, 134 pounds after eating a huge roast dinner. flash forward to today, almost a year later. still 6 feet tall, but now i weigh 146 pounds on a painfully empty stomach. not much fat left either. anyways my point being i met a girl in my calculus class who needed help, so i hung around after school and chatted. quite literally this was her first question: "can i feel your arm?" and when i told her i work out at least an hour and a half a day she said it definitely shows. im still working on her... hopefully that goes the way i want if you know what i mean.

so long story short about that, working out helps. it plays on the fact that women like a big muscular guy, and suddenly it seems like the nice guy thing is beneficial, because most big guys are aggressive. and besides... as long as you dont use steroids, working out is good for you.

<EDIT> actually now that think of it, go see 300 and check out how many girls are there. ill get they're there to see 300 big guys with their shirts off.

[Aero]

lol, SLug, I'm the exact oppostie...well, almost. At the beginning to last summer I was 5' 9" and 250 lbs. Currently I'm 5' 10" and 198 lbs. My friend who was about 175 lbs is now about 195 lbs. Hes upto 195 and I'm almost down to 195. And I'll tell ya, it makes a big difference as far as preformance in just about anything, but hey, were still the same "weight". Except now where hes got the extra poundage I've got muscle. This is the first time I've ever had visable muscle (I was always one of the strongest, but had more fat the muscle), it doth make a difference.

[DaveW]

Like we all know 'All women love an asshole'.

You don't have to be an asshole, you just have to be interesting. The same applies to drama queens, violent men, decent guys with a single, fatal, character flaw-anything. Nice guys are great. Nice guys are boring. Shake things up a little, piss a few people off. Then watch things change.

-Dave

[Ticien]

Back in highschool i was the nice guy. I had a lot of friends who were pretty good looking, really cool girls. Not a single one would date me. I couldnt figure out what the problem was. Eventually I just gave up on trying. I didnt have 1 date all through highschool. --hijacking my own comment--

*I had typed a bunch of tips here but you know it doesnt matter. I only want to depart one thing: Do what feels right to you and youll find someone who feels right WITH you

Relationships are a wonderful thing, and as it has been expressed already, worth waiting for the right person.

[Airbozo]

I am the nice guy too. I was introduced to my wife by a good friend who worked with her (at one of her 3 jobs while going to college). For me it was love at first site (I later found out it was for her too). I was always the gentleman and never pushed her for anything more than holding hands and the occasional kiss. One day while at the bar (she was the bartender), she slid me a beer and grabbed my hand, pulled me close and asked "Are you interested in me as a lover or just as a friend?" My reply; "Both!" That was it. She was mine. Playing the gentleman and being a bit shy had paid off. 18 years of marriage later we love each other more than ever and are still best friends. Nice guys do finish first, IF it is meant to be.
Here is the other side of that coin;
I grew up with this girl and had a crush on her for many many years. I was friends with her brother and we hung out all the time. I always enjoyed going to his house because I got to see his sister. We did things as a family and I even took her to one of my high school dances. While on that "date" I decided to make a move (one I had wanted to make for years), and she stopped me cold in my tracks with the "I thought we were just friends" line. BLAM!, crush, squash, MANGLE!, there goes my heart. The "friends" line. Oh well, should have seen it coming. I watched for years as she dated the "wrong" kind of guys and got treated like crap by all of them. My sister married the older brother and had kids, so our families have been close forever. That just made it harder since we saw them all the time and I had to watch her with all the a$$hats that would gather around (she is very nice looking). After joining the navy and being away for a while it was easier. Once I moved back I tried to spark something up again more out of lust, but never happened. Several years after I was married, I was back in town to see my family and she confided in me, that she felt she had made the biggest mistake in her life by not seeing what could have been between us. I felt just the opposite, that she had actually helped me by wanting to only be my friend...

Funny how things work out...

[XcOM]

The golden rule:
Be your self!

If you change yourself for a woman, you will never feel happy, if it all goes tits up you will be in the ****ter so to speek.

i myself liie meny members of this forum, am a true gentleman. Although i do have a mean side when i want to, i can get violent, i will only use my anger/violent in self defence or defending someone BUT i was brought up by my dad who told me - "NEVER HIT A LADY AT ANY COSTS"

and it is true, women do like mussle men, untill six years ago i was 6ft, an anerixic stick, weighing about 12st, then i went though a phase, and i went upto 21st, four years ago i decided to lose it all, im now down to 14st, and happy, can bench press about 22-23st (More than most, 23st=330 pounds)

i myself have only had 2 relastionships, one at secondary school (16yrs old) and one at 17, both were happy at first, now as i have learnt and the advice from meny friends, i have learnt, Live and be merry, your time will come (21now, single 4yrs, but happy.