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We could always play Perl golf, or something similar with a different language.
Or my favorite, obfuscation.

Ding Ding Ding, we have a winner (your +rep is in the mail). Possibly the worst language ever created, beside malboge, which I don't even want to touch.

Au Contraire Indy, it is very much a do-something machine. It works as described. Heres another one that counts from 0000 to 9999, and prints the numbers.

...

I just had to do it after my last "submission":



+00000000+++000000++++++0000++++++++000000+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++>
++++00++++++0+++++0++++0++++0++++++0++++++0+++++++++++++>...

Who wants a headache?

This is a slight violation of the rules, but I don't think too many people are going to benefit from it.
My program counts from 0 to 1,000,000 in roughly .5 seconds, while...