I guess that what separates the MEN from the Boys... Right Mal?
Before I get flamed to hell.. I am kidding. I too have never really had the problems stated here lately. Back in 97-98 when I really started using it, I had a lot of issues just getting stuff to do what I wanted, so I know what you are talking about. Todays distros are AWSOME compared to then.
One thing I have learned is if you really want to get proficient at linux, this is EXACTLY the kind of task that can help you get there. As Mal said, you can do this, its just a matter of digging, tinkering, and doing. </peptalk>
If you choose to press on, we would be glad to help where we can, and would love to hear your progress.