AlphaGrip AG-5 PC Gaming and Text Entry Controller
The idea:
This monstrous controller will increase your efficiency in all your computing duties, from writing email to doing up financial spreadsheets while also allowing you to become the master of every video game ever made.
The Reality:
The AlphaGrip's idea of making things easier is by simplifying the keyboard and mouse that PC gamers are so used to, and cramming it all into one controller. While the average PC game controller has 12 to 15 buttons, the AlphaGrip makes things easier by having only 42. So it's like simplifying Shakespeare by translating it into Klingon.
Wait, there's more! The 42-key design was to allow all 10 fingers to be in use at the same time. Apparently the makers felt that your pinky finger was getting left out of all the fun. The makers also couldn't think of 42 functions for the buttons so 6 of the buttons are SHIFT keys.
There is a capital-shift, punctuation-shift and number-shift on both the left and right sides of the controller (don't worry, they didn't forget caps lock). The creators obviously know that when you've just died on screen you can never find that shift key fast enough to type out OMG H@XoRz!!!!
If you count the shift-key combos, you can do 700 different functions, none of which will help you get a girlfriend.
Oh Cracked.com, how I love you so...