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Thread: I could not stop laughing at this...

  1. #1
    Sunshine Flavored Lollipops Zephik's Avatar
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    Default I could not stop laughing at this...

    AlphaGrip AG-5 PC Gaming and Text Entry Controller

    The idea:
    This monstrous controller will increase your efficiency in all your computing duties, from writing email to doing up financial spreadsheets while also allowing you to become the master of every video game ever made.

    The Reality:
    The AlphaGrip's idea of making things easier is by simplifying the keyboard and mouse that PC gamers are so used to, and cramming it all into one controller. While the average PC game controller has 12 to 15 buttons, the AlphaGrip makes things easier by having only 42. So it's like simplifying Shakespeare by translating it into Klingon.


    Wait, there's more! The 42-key design was to allow all 10 fingers to be in use at the same time. Apparently the makers felt that your pinky finger was getting left out of all the fun. The makers also couldn't think of 42 functions for the buttons so 6 of the buttons are SHIFT keys.
    There is a capital-shift, punctuation-shift and number-shift on both the left and right sides of the controller (don't worry, they didn't forget caps lock). The creators obviously know that when you've just died on screen you can never find that shift key fast enough to type out OMG H@XoRz!!!!
    If you count the shift-key combos, you can do 700 different functions, none of which will help you get a girlfriend.


    Oh Cracked.com, how I love you so...
    People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

  2. #2
    Fox Furry crenn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    Is that an actual product?
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  3. #3
    Sunshine Flavored Lollipops Zephik's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    Quote Originally Posted by crenn View Post
    Is that an actual product?
    http://www.alphagrips.com/

    People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

  4. #4
    Fox Furry crenn's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    Oh dear..... I have a feeling this isn't going to be seen at many lans any time soon.
    Antec Sonata II | Pioneer DVR-212
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  5. #5
    Linux dabbler IndyRacer27's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    Looking at that picture, I think it would actually be easier to use than one of those old mini computer keyboards where all the keys are arranged in alphabetical order. At least the correct finger will still be used for each key. I certainly won't be trading in my keyboard!
    My goal in life is to earn enough money to enjoy the lifestyle that my wife and kids do.

  6. #6
    Official Wallabies Supporter Pointy_Stick's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    I want one. That is probably the most hilarious thing to happen to the computer world since Steve Ballmer.
    http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/3152/siguf0.jpg

  7. #7
    Caffeined Acey's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    i can only imagine the conversation during the planning phase... imagine one of the dumbass directors saying "l33t" during the proposal...

  8. #8
    Is awesome
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    Think about it- it has all the keys of a regular keyboard (albeit, with a tremendous amount of shifts) but IF someone were to spend the time to get used to it and really learn how to type with it, It seems like it would be useful. Comfortable and speedy.

    But it would probably take years to learn. You may even need to go back to graduate school.
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  9. #9
    Sunshine Flavored Lollipops Zephik's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    I think I read somewhere that "experienced users" can reach up to 50wpm.

    I lol'd needless to say.
    People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they are afraid it might be true. People’s heads are full of knowledge, facts, and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool.

  10. #10
    Ceann na Drochaide Bige! XcOM's Avatar
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    Default Re: I could not stop laughing at this...

    wow, 50wpm, i can do 60-70 with 95% on a regular keyboard


    Mary had a little lamb. It bumped into a pylon. Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to nylon!

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