Man this guy must have been rich
Deep Pockets
ISP | Kansas, USA
Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet, please.”
Sales: “The whole thing?
Man this guy must have been rich
Deep Pockets
ISP | Kansas, USA
Customer: “I’d like to buy the Internet, please.”
Sales: “The whole thing?
[Kayin] 7:38 pm: Actually, during a hostile takeover, Satan's left nut and all his crabs beat Satan at the board meeting (he didn't know that his crabs held stock)
and so we're owned by a conglomerate of pubic lice and the left testicle of the Prince of the Powers of the Air.
Two more I think.
This Is What Hell Is Like
Tech Support | USA
(I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.)
Tech Support: “All right. Now click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “Click ‘OK’?”
Tech Support: “Yes, click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “Click ‘OK’?”
Tech Support: “That’s right. Click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “So I click ‘OK’, right?”
Tech Support: “Right. Click ‘OK’.”
(Pause.)
Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.”
Tech Support: “YOU CLICKED ‘CANCEL’???”
Customer: “That’s what I was supposed to do, right?”
Tech Support: “No, you were supposed to click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “I thought you said to click ‘Cancel’.”
Tech Support: “NO. I said to click ‘OK’.”
Customer: “Oh.”
Tech Support: “Now we have to start over.”
Customer: “Why?”
Tech Support: “Because you clicked ‘Cancel’.”
Customer: “Wasn’t I supposed to click ‘Cancel’?”
Tech Support: “No. Forget that. Let’s start from the top.”
Customer: “Ok.”
(I spend the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady’s unique computer.)
Tech Support: “All right. Now, are you ready to click ‘OK’?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Tech Support: “Great. Now click ‘OK’.”
(Pause.)
Customer: “I clicked ‘Cancel’.”
(And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled “BANG HEAD HERE.”)
Source
Me: “Internet helpdesk, how can I help you?”
Customer: “I can’t connect to the internet.”
Me: “How long has it been since you last connected?”
Customer: “I was connected until a few minutes ago.”
Me: “Have you changed anything in your network?”
Customer: “Well, I was downloading some movies over the net, but the download got too slow. I called a friend of mine and he told me that some movies could’ve gotten stuck in the cable. So I cut the cable to see if I could yank it out of there. I didn’t find anything, so I taped the cable back together. Now, can you get it back to work?”
Me: *grimace*
[Kayin] 7:38 pm: Actually, during a hostile takeover, Satan's left nut and all his crabs beat Satan at the board meeting (he didn't know that his crabs held stock)
and so we're owned by a conglomerate of pubic lice and the left testicle of the Prince of the Powers of the Air.