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Thread: Can I get some non-biased advice?

  1. #1
    ATX Mental Case
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    Default Can I get some non-biased advice?

    I have come into a situation that requires some very serious thought. I would like to know if I am thinking straight or if I'm off my rocker and I would like some input from people who haven't already reserved an opinion about me. Read on if you would like to be constructive.

    Right now, I live in MI. I don't like it here. The weather is crappy and I hate my job. My girlfriend moved here to be with me from FL about 6 months ago and we share an apartment. I am 22 and have never moved more than 10 miles from where I was born. I work in an office that pays me enough money to pay the bills and have a little left over, but since my lady has moved here she has had an impossible time finding a good job. Partly due to the auto companies laying off so many people (we are relatively close to Detroit). MI has a really bad job market right now. Which means that even though I don't want to work at my job anymore I have to because there is nothing else. Im constantly stressed out and it is grinding on my relationship. Theres the backstory...


    I am going to school for 3d Animation but won't be done for another year and a half because I slacked off in the beginning of college and changed my major a bunch of times. My original plan was to graduate and move to CA to try to find a job more along the lines of my degree while I work on a Bachelors out there, since there really isnt anything that falls into that category of work around here. But there is no guarantee I could find anything and at present I have no clue how I would be able to get enough money saved up as a contingency.

    An idea popped into my head yesterday while I was over at IKEA buying a lamp (ha ha). We could move to FL. It would make me have to move an extra time in the end though, because I still would like to settle in CA. But it would be easier for her to get a good job, and apparently for me as well. There is an apartment for us to rent (maybe) if we need it, and it would make her parents happy because she would be closer to them. I would probably be happier too. But I would have to leave my family and friends, and leave here, which, even though I dont like it here, is the only place I know. I would also have to stop taking my classes and try to find a similar degree at PBCC or FAU and hope I can transfer credits which might slow down my graduation even more. I want to go, but I am both apprehensive about it and gung-ho about it at the same time. I think ultimately things would be better, but they would be more complicated first. And I have never moved that far before.

    So...What would you do if you were me?

    I am not taking anyones opinion as my decision, so feel free to say what you like, I just want to know if others would react the same way I am in this spot. I have until Oct. to make a decision, but the sooner I decide the sooner I can get my affairs in order. I'm just kinda stuck and everyone I know is biased one way or the other (obviously my family doesnt really want me moving across te country etc.). Sorry if it seems whiny or wussie to think this way but I prefer to make well-informed decisions when it comes to things that could change the course of my life and I don't want to rush things irrationally. If the mods feel this post is too much of a "BS" I will remove it, but I just would like some input from people who don't know me and my way of thinking.

  2. #2
    tinfoil-underwear
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    Not whiny or wussie in any way.

    Read your post, but I read it too fast, and I'm at work.

    In lunch time, I'll read it better, and post.

    Take it easy man....

    After the storm, there's always the sunshine.

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    Darth Harrington's Intergalactic Proton Powered Electrical Tentacled Advertising Droids

    I'm just sayin'...

  3. #3
    Spam Sniper SgtM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    Speaking from experience, those feelings sound normal. I remember being scared to death when I first went in the Corps and found that I was going to be in Southern California, while everyone and everything I knew was in Ohio. It was very rough for a while, but after about 4-6 months, things changed. You at least will be with someone who already knows the area. I look at it this way. You're young (I'm 32). You have no responsibilities other than yourself (I have a wife and 3 children). I say go for it. The experience will only enrich your life down the road. Yes, you'll be far away from home, but Mi to Fl isn't really more than a day's drive.

    With that said, I understand the college thing to a degree (I never went). So, since you have some time, check with your college and the schools in Fl, and find out about your credits, and what will transfer, and what extra classes you might have to make up.

  4. #4
    Yuk it up Monkey Boy! Airbozo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    I somewhat understand your feelings on moving and school. Look before you leap. Do what sgtm suggested and check out the college info first. That will make the transition a lot easier and less stressful. One less thing on your plate to cause an ulcer.

    Do some investigation into the job market in CA. Decide what you want to do and then start looking for jobs (bayareajobs.com, Monster.com). Look to see what employers are looking for so you can tailor your classes to fit.

    Another thing about CA, the rent/mortgage here is OUTRAGEOUS! Be prepared for that shocker. The gas is also incredibly expensive ($3.21/gal), so factor that into your plans and move close to where you want to work. Also Community Colleges here in cali are relatively inexpensive ($13/credit), _but_ you have to have been a resident for at least a year to get that rate. There are a lot of Community Colleges that offer similar courses to what you mentioned.

    The old adage "You can never go home" is true. I moved out to CA in the early '80's when I joined the Navy and when I got discharged I moved back to CO, where my family is/was. I lasted about 2 years before leaving for CA again (the ocean has a really strong draw on me...). Now I can not leave.

    You are lucky, since you are young. It is easier to pick up and move along while you have limited baggage to carry around (both physical and mental). Take advantage of it and try out a few places before putting your roots down too deep.

    My $.02
    "...Dumb all over, A little ugly on the side... "...Frank Zappa...

  5. #5
    ATX Mental Case
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    Thanks all of you for your advice. It is especially nice to hear from someone with firsthand experience in living in Cali to give me a little insight. So far there hasnt been a single person that has told me I shouldn't go. That is reassuring, because the more I consider it the more I think I would be able to improve my life by starting over someplace else. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to discuss. I can see why you have so much rep here

  6. #6
    Yuk it up Monkey Boy! Airbozo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    No problem Ticien. I personally think _everyone_ should be required to move away from home (more than a couple of blocks) to experience life in another city and another point of view. Makes you really appreciate family and friends that much more. But then again, thats what college or the military is for...

    PM me if you have any specific questions...
    "...Dumb all over, A little ugly on the side... "...Frank Zappa...

  7. #7
    rest in peace mate GT40_GearHead's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    i say go for it!

    i have three years with my girlfriend, i'm 18 and i finish high school in 4 months, she is 20, and has one more year of college, and she has to stay 60km away so she can go to school, i see her at the end of the week when she come home.
    After i finish high school, i'm out of here, i dont wanna lose her, so we will get a job, rent an apartment, and work thing out, BOTH OF US

    there is never an easy way, as i said GO FOR IT, there is no way both of you can live for a very long time off your pay check, she needs a job, and you need to stay close, its getting to damn hard these days to find a decent woman ! lol

    ps: if my post is a bit chaotic is because i have a bloody huge head ache

    LOUD AND PROUD !

  8. #8
    Spam Sniper SgtM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Ticien View Post
    Thanks all of you for your advice. It is especially nice to hear from someone with firsthand experience in living in Cali to give me a little insight. So far there hasnt been a single person that has told me I shouldn't go. That is reassuring, because the more I consider it the more I think I would be able to improve my life by starting over someplace else. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to discuss. I can see why you have so much rep here
    That's what I like about these boards. Everyone is always eager to help out no matter what the subject.

    Quote Originally Posted by Airbozo View Post
    No problem Ticien. I personally think _everyone_ should be required to move away from home (more than a couple of blocks) to experience life in another city and another point of view. Makes you really appreciate family and friends that much more. But then again, thats what college or the military is for...

    PM me if you have any specific questions...
    I second that. Like I said, it may be stressful at first, but you can make the best of it, and it will only help to enrich your life. Personally, if I could afford to live in So Cali, I would be there in a heartbeat! I miss it.

  9. #9
    Anodized
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    Yeah man go for it. see something different. worst thing that can happen is you have to go back home... where you are now. no biggie. Enjoy life experiance things.

  10. #10
    ATX Mental Case
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    Default Re: Can I get some non-biased advice?

    Well thanks to everyones positive advice and my own thoughts on it, I went home and talked to my better half as well, and we discussed the pros and cons...once I couldnt think of any real cons we decided. So I guess I am moving to FL in October. I cant wait. Thanks guys for all your input, it was reassuring to know i wasnt losing my mind by wanting to move across the country..

    (Maybe then i will actually be able to start a mod in the winter)

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