Satan Claus is Coming to Town

[armadilloben]

Dear Satan Claus,

As a young man ... hahah .. I worked as a driver for a British holiday company in France. The company offered camping holidays in pre-erected tents complete with beds, dining table, cooker and fridge etc.

My job was to deliver supplies to seventeen campsites in eastern/south eastern France and switzerland. Most of the English people who worked for my company and similar companies were young women of my age ... and there was a shortage of available men.

So I had at least one girlfriend on each of the seventeen campsites. They all knew each other and that I was with them all. On a couple of sites I was "timeshared". This came to a head when I was asked to make an extra delivery to an out of the way site in Switzerland that no one had visited for weeks. I was due a four day break so I thought I'd do the drive and take my break there.

When I got there I discovered ten women working on the site which only catered for young families. They had been there two months and had not seen an available man!

That evening I started getting drunk with the girls and quickly realised that several of them were preparing to pounce on me. I said goodnight and retreated to my small truck which had a bed in it to avoid the madness that was bound to follow if I had not.

About ten minutes later the door of the truck opened and a very giggly young woman called grace climbed into the truck, ripped off her clothes, got in my bed and snuggled up very close. "What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well", she said, "after you left an argument started about who was going to sleep with you. All hell broke loose, and after a little while I came up with a plan".

"What's the plan?", I asked.

"We're going to take turns", she said, "as it's my plan I go first!"

For four days I was kept prisoner in my own truck by a crowd of sex starved young women .... so ... The naughtiest thing I have done is ... I willingly let it happen

My other seventeeen+ g/f's were very understanding - after all they were used to sharing

I want Satan Claus to send me: http://www.newegg.com/Product/Produc...82E16822148261

Matthew

dude all i can say is that is absolutley ****ing awesome

[Crazy Buddhist]

I've noted a slight trend with these stories.....

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Ask a bunch of (mainly) adult males to tell you naughty stories .. what else would you expect?

CrazyB

[TheGreatSatan]

If another participant posts a link to another pop-up that I can't rid of without Ctrl Alt Del, like Don't-Fear, you will be barred from this competition!

Next, everyone is up to post, even staff. Your first post is your only entry, you can go back and edit, but not post another one.

A few people are posting $30 and $40 items. If you want a $30 video card, maybe you can find a better $50 one?

[Bopher]

Man I must have lead a boring life if this is what I'm up against here. Well here's the naughty I have:

When my dad was stationed in WY I had a friend who seemed normal enough, he actually got me into computers. Anyway he would get those magazine adds that offered spy gear so we decided to order a basic set of lock picks and see what we could open with them. When he finally got them we tried assorted locks around the house, padlocks, deadbolts, basic door handle locks. We got that we could pick a dead bolt in 30 seconds. Well I don't know if anybody here has been to WY but nothing is usually happening at 1am most of the time so we were teenagers and bored. So we decided to see how many locks we could remove from various sheds around the trailer court. Never stole anything out of them just removed the locks. We did this for 3 days till we went to open house and there was some dude sitting on the back porch with a 12 gauge draped over his lap. We even went up to the middle school and started removing padlocks from different gates. This is where we almost screwed it up. While my friend was down on the ground removing a padlock from a gate designed to close the road during the summer a Cheyenne PD cruiser pulled up behind us. When I the car I made some quick thinking and told my friend to stuff the locks in his shoe and make like he was readjusting his shoe laces so they "wouldn't get caught in the chain." After a quick lesson on what time curfew was and a warning about getting home right away we were let go and we took off for his house as fast as we could. I think to this day all the padlocks still sit in his parents tool shed but I haven't talked to him in a few years. Honestly the "ball-o-locks" had to be 2' big and weighed a ton.

So there's my story. I don't have a dirty or stupid crazy story but please Satan Clause please bring me a :http://www.newegg.com/Product/Produc...82E16811996005

[killergamer]

Well mines not crazy dirty like the others.....

It was a sunny day in California and I had taken my dads "bike" out. This bike happened to have a gas engine on the from wheel to give it power but my dad had souped it up to go FAST. OMG this thing hit like 25mph it was crazy. My dad lives in a fairly nice neighborhood in California and like I said I was out riding around and thought why not give some gas to it. So I go down to the end of one street and hit the gas as hard as I can so I reach the end of the road and realized that something had happened to the steering and that it was not turning very well and I ran into the neighbors nice silver 2006 porch. I scratched the hell out of it. Not some small scratched but some very large unwanted scratches on it. Whats even weirder is that the cops never came and they never tried to find who did it. Even more luckily I didn't do any damage to the bike or myself....LOL my father never found out it was me and I have never told my mom. It was the week before I was heading for home.

<--Click Santa!

[DonT-FeaR]

sorry satan... i was saying that was what it was if you didnt know... sorry mate

[TheGreatSatan]

Don't sweat it. Come on Jon, Paul, Cymae. More entries please!

[FrooP]

i sense so much win in this thread

[TheGreatSatan]

^Awesome!

[BerticusPryme]

The naughtiest thing I've done is.....quite a few years ago I meat a guy that was pretty cool and we became good friends. We would go to partys and try to see who could get the most chicks or who could do the most keg stands and all that. Other than parties and seeing each other at the mall we didnt hang out alot. But he wasa cool person to hang out with none the less. Well I was in town where he lived and was downa dn out so I went to the bar. As I sat there drowning my sorrows with my buddies Jack and Turkey I seen this rather good looking but older woman sitting about 3 seats down. She smiled and waved me down there. She was in her mid 40's or so. She was divorced and all as I found out from talking to her for about 2 hours. well I was liqoured up so beauty is in the eye of the beerholder right? So.. I grab my jacket and was going to have a try at couger hunting. Well I woke back up around 5 am in her bed, looked around, found my stuff around the house and promptly left. Had no clue where I was in this town so I had to stop at a gas station and get directions. Well I got outta there safely. About 2 weeks later I go back to Florence to go to the mall and pick up a game controlelr from gamestop and browse around. Well I meet this cute little chick working in the mall named Tina. We chit chat for a bit. I am nice and walk her to her car. As she gets in she asks if I want to go to the club with her? Well of course I do. We go out I think she is taking me to a local club in "other side of the tracks" area only to have her pull off behind some buildings and attack me. We went back to her place and wash rinse repeat. After it's all said and done around 2 am I said my goodbyes and we parted ways. About a month goes by and John calls me. He is installing some subs and stuff in his car and asks if I want to come over and help? Hell yeah I got something to do now. So I tell him I will grab some beer on the way up and when i get there I will
call to finish getting directions to his house. I get to Florence and I call him. He gives me directions and as I am going down there this feels creepily familiar but I write it off as dejavu. I pull up to the house and he is outside we chit chat for a sec and have a beer. Eye ball how everything is going to go. So we go inside to get tools and a cooler for the beer. As we walk inside I meet his mother and wanted to go hide ina hole. It's the cougar from about a month and a half ago. I greet her and shake her hand and all. We both give each other this solemn nod. She didnt know I was Bert that John went drinking with and I didnt know she was johns mom. So I go outside and swill down about 4 more beers. He is outside pulling the back seat and everything out and I go back inside to go to the bathroom. I speak with his mother and we agree that talking about it to him would be a bad idea and jsut to leave everythign lie like it is. I like this plan. So I go back outside and talking to John and next thing I know a car pulls up while I am under the dash running some rca cables. He yells he wants me to meet his fiance. SO I was like ok and pry myself out from under the dash. Stand up and hold out my hand to greet her and say HI I'm Robert but everyone calls me Bert only to be standing face to face with Tina. I smile and we talk for a moment. SO I ask how long have you two been together cuz I didnt know he had a gf. Well he is like oh yeha we been seeing each other for about 2 1/2 years. THey been engaged for about a month.I congradulate them and she goes inside as it is hot. AS she walks off she looks at me like dont say a damn word. I was thinking ok good she is going in the house. Then I relaized oh @#$% she is going in the house. So here I am witha good friend at his house isntalling a stereo and I find out all within 1 hour that I have boned his mom and his fiance. It was at that point in that I figured it was time for me to finish the install and leave. We finished up for the day and then I didnt dare go back int he hosue but John was like you not going to tell everyone goodbye. I walk back in to see both of them sitting at the kitchen bar staring at me . Turns out they talked about me to each other about this wild fling they had and ...well....1+1 and they were both like you did what with him. When everything was said and done they had realized I had slept with them both and John was none the wiser. It was made clear just to forget about it all and go on with our lives like it never happened. I was 21 at the time. About 2 years later I see John again. He and Tina had split. She left him for another guy. His mom had remarried. I could nt hold it anymore and broke down and told him. He just sits there, nods his head, and right hooks me. I stood up cuz I deserved it and we both knew it. That day was the last time we ever spoke.

I want Satan Claus to send me http://www.newegg.com/Product/Produc...82E16882237003