weird computer related terms

[montmorency]

ok, this is probably the most random thread you will find on the intire forum. anyway, i was talking to some friends about weird words like fustigate, to beat with a club, and defenistrate, meaning to throw out a window. the conversation turned to weird computer words. some of the ones we talked about were teraflops and so on. so if any one wants to, they can post any weird words. yunno, just to have a little fun.

[qoou]

foobar, also known as FUBAR which stands for F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition.

it is used in computer programming in the place hold of variables.

[Crimson Sky]

Your sig is fubar.

[montmorency]

lol i like that one

[Cevinzol]

Since no one's added much... here goes.

I've had these in a "technician's Jargon file"
I pulled out some that I though might be apropriate.
Note: some are out of date.
================================================== =

WINDOWs 95: n.
32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an
8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor,
written by a 2 bit company, that can't stand 1 bit of competition.

Drive Overlay:
1) A "friendly" virus used to access a large hard drive.
2) A messy way to end a date.

O'Toole's Law
If it doesn't fit, use a larger hammer.

O'Toole's corollary
If it Broke, it needed fixing anyway

Bell's Second Law of the Internet:
No matter how facetious or satirical your message is, someone
will take you seriously.

PEBKAC: Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair

I/O Error: Idiot Operator
See Sysedit entry: "User=ID10t" (uzer ekwals Eye dee Tehn Tee)

(L)User: The people who call the help desk

NPI Error: Not Plugged In

UTS: User Too Stupid

WPOIDYU: (wapity-u): What Part of Ignorant Don't You Understand

Plaque
The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
keyboards and mice.

CGI Joe
A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills
and charisma of a plastic action figure.

Crapplet
A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet.

WOMBAT (wom'bat) [Waste Of Money, Brains and Time] adj. Applied to
problems which are both profoundly UNINTERESTING in themselves and
unlikely to benefit anyone interesting even if solved. Often used
in fanciful constructions such as WRESTLING WITH A WOMBAT. See also
CRAWLING HORROR.

Sneaker Net (sneek@r neht) n.
A primitive network delivery system. Packet size is limited to 1.44M
but transmital distance is unlimited. Delivery time is a factor of
distance and how many cofee machine the data path intercepts.

FRISBEE NET (frizbeeneht) n.
An advanced form of sneakernet. It is limited to line of sight for
all but the most advanced administrators. Transmital distance is
also less than sneaker net and data packet delivery has to compensate
for windage.

SILLY WALK (si'lee wahk) [from Monty Python] v. a ridiculous procedure
required to accomplish a task. Like GROVEL, but more RANDOM and
humorous. "I had to silly-walk through half the parts drawers to
find a 741 for that Green Machine."

MAGIC SMOKE (ma'jik smohk) n. A notional substance trapped inside IC
packages that enables them to function. Its existence is
demonstrated by what happens when a chip burns up -- the magic
smoke gets let out, so it doesn't work any more. See SMOKE TEST.

SMOKE TEST (smohk test) n. A rudimentary form of testing applied to
electronic equipment following repair or reconfiguration in which
AC power is applied and during which the tester checks for sparks,
smoke, or other dramatic signs of fundamental failure.

NON-OPTIMAL SOLUTION (non-op'ti-m@l so-lu'shn) n. An astoundingly
stupid way to do something. This term is generally used in deadpan
sarcasm, as its impact is greatest when the person speaking looks
completely serious. Compare STUNNING.

INFANT MORTALITY (in'f:nt mor-tal':-tee) n. It is common lore
that the chances of sudden hardware failure drop off exponentially
with a machine's time since power-up (that is, until the relatively
distant time at which mechanical wear in I/O devices and thermal-cycling
stress in components has accumulated enough for the machine to start
going senile). Up to half of all chip-and-wire failures happen within a
new system's first few weeks; such failures are often referred to as
"infant mortality" problems.

KLUGE (kloodj) alt. KLUDGE (kluhdj) [from the German "kluge", clever]
(`kloodj' is the original pronunciation, more common in the US;
`kluhdge' is reported more common in England). n. 1. A Rube
Goldberg device in hardware or software. 2. A clever trick intended
to solve a particular nasty case in an efficient, if not clear, manner.
Often used to repair design flaws. Often verges on being a crock. 3.
Something that works for the wrong reason.

BOHR BUG (bor buhg) [from quantum physics] n. A repeatable bug; one
which manifests reliably under a possibly unknown but well-defined
set of conditions. Antonym of HEISENBUG.

HEISENBUG (hie'sen-buhg) [from quantum physics] n. A bug which
disappears or alters its behavior when one attempts to probe or
isolate it. Antonym of BOHR BUG (q.v.).
================================================

[Cevinzol]

COFFEE
----------
Let us give thanks to Java and His one true prophet, Saint Juan Valdez. For He hath given us the bean, and the bean was good. For He hath shown us The Way to grind the bean and brew it unto His image. For He hath given us an ambrosia without which we would be forced to unleash the gods Smith & Wesson on our co-workers who, being not in His Grace, seem bound and determined to drive us into madness. Give thanks unto Java that He, in his infinite Alertness and Perkiness, might raise you above your despair and sorrows. Give thanks unto Saint Juan who hath helped us to understand His teachings. Finally, let us give thanks to the many disciples of Almighty Java, those who hath given us the means to become one with Him through their wondrous devices - the coffee machines.
--------------
Coffee Drinkers Prayer

Caffeine is my shepherd; I shall not doze.
It maketh me to wake in green pastures:
It leadeth me beyond the sleeping masses.
It restoreth my buzz:
It leadeth me in the paths of consciousness for its name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of addiction,
I will fear no Equal (tm):
For thou art with me; thy cream and thy sugar they comfort me.
Thou preparest a carafe before me in the presence of The Starbucks:
Thou anointest my day with pep; my mug runneth over.
Surely richness and taste shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the House of Mocha's forever.

Amen
-------------
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the juice of Java that the thoughts acquire speed.
The hands acquire shaking.
The shaking becomes a warning.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion
==================================================
Appendix:

CARGILL'S THEORY OF FAT ELECTRONS - Proposed by David Cargill in 1978,
as a tongue-in-cheek explanation for random computer logic problems.
The theory goes something like this: Ordinarily, the power company gets
power from the generators by using taps mounted on the top of the coils.
Occasionally, though, these taps must be taken offline for cleaning.
When this happens, they switch to auxilary taps on the bottom of the
coils. This means (according to the theory) that instead of picking up
the "light" electrons, they're getting the fat and sloppy electrons that
hang out near the bottom of the coils. These "fat" electrons have
problems turning the sharp corners inside ICs, and that's what causes
logic errors.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Quantum Bogodynamics

QUANTUM BOGODYNAMICS - Originally proposed by Eric Raymond in the early
'80s at MIT. The root word in this case is BOGUS, meaning bad, non-
functional and any number of other unpleasant things. In quantum
bogodynamics, the BOGOSITY (extent to which something is bogus) of a
given object, person or idea is expressed as a quantity of BOGONS.
Furthermore, the theory states that all objects may be described as
BOGON SOURCES or BOGON SINKS.
A bogon source is an object that is implicitly bogus and emits
bogons. The bogons thus emitted affect both the source (by making it
even more bogus) and other objects that interact with it (users, nearby
pieces of equipment et al.). Examples of bogon sources are: Seeburg and
Rockola CD jukeboxes, cranes, and people who are likely to go ballistic
(q.v.) when things go wrong, e.g. management, location owners. A bogon
sink is an object which absorbs bogons without itself becoming
BOGOTIFIED. Examples of this are technicians (when applying proper
procedures), taxpayers and anything else commonly thought of as Good
Things.
The precise nature of the bogon interactions have not at this
time been fully elucidated. It is, however, possible to give limited
examples which give a feeling for the true nature of this theory.
Example 1: The Pub has a capacity crowd. By that, I mean that
the place is PACKED with drunk people, and the music is sounding really
good. One of the bartenders thinks :"God, if the jukebox went down now,
we'd be screwed." Ten minutes later, the jukebox goes down. What
happened? A person speaking from a purely objective viewpoint might say
that it was simply bad luck, but a person who knew bogodynamic theory
might say, "By reflecting on the importance of the jukebox, the
bartender immediately made it a BOGON ATTRACTOR. Any nearby bogons, if
not bound tightly enough to their origins, would have migrated to the
jukebox. When the quantity of bogons reached a critical point, the
jukebox became non-functional."
Example 2: A Race Drivin' game spends several months after its
acquisition languishing on the third floor...where it works perfectly.
When at last it goes on the route to make some money, it begins a stream
of completely baffling breakdowns, accompanied by the dreaded phrase
from the ASIC 61 test: "He's dead, Jim." A quantum bogodynamic
explanation of this might be: This machine has a very low bogon
tolerance threshold. When in the shop, a place that by definition has a
large quantity of bogon sinks, it works properly. When on the route,
where it's exposed to any number of bogon sources, its low threshold
becomes a liability and it develops continual severe problems.
Other general examples include authority figures of any sort.
Any technician with a substantial fund of experience may recall
situations in which a machine which had been working perfectly during
testing failed miserably in the presence of a supervisor. It doesn't
matter whether or not a given technician likes his or her supervisors;
it seems to be a fundamental law of nature that the higher your rank is,
the more bogons you emit. A corollary of this rule includes certain
managers and/or owners of locations where equipment has been placed - by
having unrealistically high expectations of the equipment, they emit a
substantial number of bogons.

[DaveW]

TWAIN - Technology without an interesting name. Posted this in another thread somewhere.

Us geeks, eh?

-Dave

[public_eyesore]

dongle

[Rankenphile]

foobar, also known as FUBAR which stands for F*cked Up Beyond All Recognition.

it is used in computer programming in the place hold of variables.

Actually, Fubar goes back to WWII.